She could enrage him quicker than anyone he�d ever met but she could also ease the pain just as quickly, just one look could melt him, just one word could make him fall, and a simple moment of physical contact could put him in touch with elation. For perhaps the first time in his life, he�d realised it, this was what love was all about � really all about. His body tingled involuntarily at the sensation, the memory � her words again reverberating through his mind. And he looked down at their entwined fingertips and shyly up at her face, she was smiling, thank the lord above she was smiling. He wanted to speak but didn�t actually know what to say, she was waiting for his life-changing sentence and yet he said nothing, just squeezed her hand a little tighter.
They had left the party soon after the slow dance, well she had pulled him from the dance floor towards the cloakroom, rescuing their coats and leading him outside. He had stood and watched patiently as she put her coat on, half stunned at what had just happened inside, half overjoyed and yet again amazed by this woman. Her back was to him and for a second he wondered what was going through her mind, surely not regret already? �June�� He whispered questioningly into the air, watching the pattern his breath made upon the chill. Her shoulders relaxed at the sound and she spun round to him smiling, immediately moving closer as if sensing his question, she kissed him again. Smoothly and so close to him, breathing him in, invading every pore and filling him with want. Her tongue probing his mouth, she hardly ever kissed him like this, only when they were alone and she was screaming his name, but no this was more intimate. Not caring who walked past or what they thought. She moved back slightly, allowing the cool air to rush in and slap his burning face. �No regrets�� She said; her eyes still had that intensity to them that he�d witnessed inside.
And so she had taken his hand and led him down the street.
�What about the car?� He asked fiddling with the keys in his hand.
�Let�s walk, it feels nice, refreshing.�
�Alright�� He pocketed the keys and followed her lead.
He realised ten minutes into the walk she wasn�t taking the quickest route home but he didn�t mind. It was Friday night and he was� god he was so in love and she loved him too and the world seemed at rights. He grinned like a teenager and shook his head as a laugh escaped.
�What?� She asked casting him a glance.
�Nothing, absolutely nothing at all�� He smiled again, unable to keep it hidden. He pulled on her, making her move back to him, halting her walk and holding her firmly round the waist. �The way you make me feel� I can�t tell you��
She rubbed his hands, leaning her head back so he could bury his face in her hair. �You don�t have to say, I know.� She lifted his hand and kissed it. �Let�s go home��
The weight of her body spread across his, so relaxed with sleep, well half asleep anyway. Thank god they didn�t have plans tomorrow.
The sight of a familiar street, door, trees that lined the way, and the moon so full above him. He gazed up at it as June fumbled in her bag for the door keys. The squeak of the hinges and she stepped inside, and he followed his hands instantaneously on the small of her back. She allowed him to take her coat off, kissing her collarbone from behind as she slowly locked the door, taking her time, making every moment count so he was almost begging her. One hand sneaking up her leg, pushing her skirt up until he reached her thigh and squeezed, she gladly leant back against him rubbing her body into his until he moaned her name onto her skin. She had hardly touched him yet; her hands were by her side just casually urging his on, her eyes closed, trying to control her breathing. But he was already hard, pushing against the base of her spine, her fingers eagerly moved to touch him but she stopped herself - this had to last. One of his hands had reached under her top, drawing his hand back and forth across her abdomen; he knew the effect this had on, the tingling starting in the pit of her stomach. Her head slipped forward and found the cool surface of the door to rest against, and she found herself saying his name and urging him on again and again. She was almost unaware of him bending down behind her pulling her skirt down and marvelling at the sight of her in shoes and stockings, the wonder was evident on his face though as she turned to look down at him. �Don�t stare like that� get me embarrassed.� She mumbled almost falling on top of him. �No need to be.�
�How would you feel?� Her hands were on his face again demanding his attention.
He shrugged and grinned, that wonderful warm smile that had always drawn her in. For the second time that evening she thought of all the times she had turned away from it, pushed him back into her mind so it couldn�t affect her. �Don�t think too much now, we�ll worry tomorrow. Let me just enjoy this for a while�� He said as his hand started to snake up her back, under her top and attempting to lift it off.
She playfully hit his chest. �I told you, no regrets, I�m going to relax and enjoy this too.�
�Hmm we�ll see�� He moved so she had to sit up.
�Jim, you�re teasing me now aren�t you?� He stood up and turned his back to her as he slipped his shoes off. �Jim�� She stumbled up and moved closer to him.
He had turned round, that wonderful smile greeting her and had picked her up, almost throwing her over his arms. �Sometimes�� She had complained, but he�d moved his mouth down to hers. She�d expected him to carry her upstairs, but they stayed there, in the darkness of the hall.
��how the mindless
Heart has nowhere to go
But learns by touch in the dark.�
Carrying her into the kitchen, laying her back on the table, her arm had reached out to pull him down and knocked a mug onto the floor and she hardly even noticed the noise. His body was coming down to meet hers and she reached to his trousers, her hand surprisingly trembling as she fumbled with the zip. His hand found hers, lifted it up and kissed it and she watched his shadow move back away from her, over to the window and pulling the blind closed and for the first time she realised she was practically naked on her kitchen table and a tiny essence of the self-conscious crept in.
It disappeared when he touched her again, surprisingly pulling her body back into a sitting position and kissing her deeply, slowly. �You know we didn�t dance enough tonight.�
�Well, one of us was desperately unhappy and the other was making them desperately unhappy.�
�Hmm, trying to do my best lonely heart impression at the party.�
�You succeeded,� Her hand wound round his neck. �And I felt pretty lousy about it.�
�So you should� ice maiden.�
�I know, I know, no need to make me feel worse, I made up for it didn�t I?�
�More than made up.� He kissed her forehead, her nose, her mouth.
Her hold on him became tighter. �Desperately trying to claw my way back into your affections.� She smiled against his mouth.
�Slowly getting there�� He whispered.
For some strange reason he didn�t want to make love to her anymore, not in a bad way, not in the fact that he didn�t want her, just that right now this felt like more than something sexual. �Let�s dance.�
�Right now?� She had looked up at him, her eyes half closed.
�Mmm, now.�
�I�m only half dressed.�
�I don�t think anyone will mind.�
He moved back from her switching the radio on and finding an appropriate station, similar music from that at the party.
She leant forward on her hands, rocking on the edge of the table, unable to control her smile. �You really want to dance to this, I thought you didn�t like to dance.�
He took her hand. �Let�s just say I�m feeling a bit giddy tonight��
She shrugged as she got up. �That I can see� honestly just one declaration of love and you go off like this, I will have to limit my use of the word if every response is going to be over-the-top�� She held his gaze for a second, steadily almost seriously. But then she couldn�t help but collapse in hysterics; uncontrollable laughter sifting through the air and Jim had picked her up again and put her over his shoulder. She tried to protest through her giggles but she was enjoying the attention far too much.
�Alright, alright, enough of the dancing then�� Jim left her lying back on the sofa, her legs tucked beneath her while he went to turn the radio off. When he returned her eyes were closed. He bent over her, �June?� he whispered.
�Mmm�� A mumble, her head slipping to one side.
He smiled, slid his arms beneath her body again and lifted her up. What a time to fall asleep.
�I do love you, you know�� The words kept him awake, the need to hear them over and over again, the thrill of repeating them to himself in his head. He could still feel her body swaying against him, so close and warm and completely together. And hear the music, singing the words he knew repeatedly. He longed to wake her, make her say it all over again. There was this aching inside, not pain, just a longing, a need if you like to be fulfilled. To have her completely, totally, absolutely his � to have her body begging for his, loving his. The weight of her body spread across his, so relaxed with sleep, and he reached down to cover her up again.