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Welcome to JUMBLE! Or maybe welcome back, or whatever. This is edition #4, and I hope you find this one more disturbing than the rest. You've surely noticed we have a new home for JUMBLE, and I hope to keep bringing you all the goofy excitement at least once or twice a month.
Do we get letters at [email protected]? Well, one at least. But a good one, from our pal Scott Saavedra over at Comic Book Heaven. He claims to enjoy our sad version of JUMBLE, and says the C.B.H. may yet one day rise like a phoenix. As far as using the same name (its a TRIBUTE!) Scott says: Heck, I'm flattered. I probably stole the word "jumble" from someplace so it would be foolish of me to complain about you doing the same."
Thanks Scott. Again, go buy everything at Slave Labor that has his name on it.
Now, lets JUMBLE!! |
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I just wanted to start out, for no reason, with this picture I found while looking for other stuff. Now, pardon me, but is this two robots making out? Just some sort of intergalactic communication? Or are we about to see 'bot porn? I'm afraid of this, either way. |
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Speaking of 'afraid', meet Gardener Wang. He runs a gardening web-site, which you'd THINK would be full of nifty tips on horticulture and family friendly indeed. Well, you'd be dead WRONG, bucko. Ya see, you know things are just wrong when you notice Wangs first quote on his page: "Love is like fertilizer. You should spread it around!" Okay... is this why you have, among the photos of flowers, some pics of nearly nude men? The site notes, helpfully, that Wang is a man who "likes to get dirty!" And not in the garden, one suspects. And in the midst of some really helpful hints, Wang informs us he wants to 'germinate' a Japanese gardener he knows. What the hell is WRONG with people? |
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I'm happy to report something actually COOL here, yet still with that odd JUMBLE flavor. The '365 Days Project' promises one MP3 a day for a year. What kind of MP3s? WEIRD ONES, goody. For instance, you can hear Dean Milan sing his hit, "Do It Like A Dog", or maybe Eileen Fulton ask the musical question "I Wonder Who My Daddy Is". I think my fave so far is Dick 'Two-Ton' Baker singing "I'm A Little Weenie". Maybe he needs to get together with Garderner Wang. |
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I was sitting here the other night wondering "I wonder if some jackass has ever created a website all about broccoli, complete with insane art?" I need'nt have worried. Whats bad is, these people seem to take their creations very seriously, and thats what is disturbing. Other than this 'art'. But I have to admit, they filled a niche for broccoli websites. You gotta give 'em that. |
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On one hand, our country is going thru a 'good eating' phase, and this is a good thing. Think about what you put into your body, watch your calories, yada, yada. But at a time when McDonalds is abolishing the Super Size option on behalf of a handful of demented do-gooders....what kind of message does Twinkie flavored lip balm send to the kids? Is it "when you can't cram your mouth with these indigestabe cakes, just eat this here lip-balm!" Or....is this a clever weight loss product? "Hungry for a Twinkie? Just use this lip-balm instead!". However...I was of the idea lip-balm was supposed to be somewhat practical and tasty. Maybe it was made for cops, who knows. |
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Who says sexually suggestive comic covers died along with Wonder Woman creator and writer William Marston? Phallic imagery for the young folk. From Wonder Woman # 68.
This cover brings us to an interesting website. Theres plenty of comic book site out there, with an abundance of info on many varied aspects of sequentially illustrated storytelling. But exactly who thought of focusing on the area of BONDAGE in comics? |
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Yes, I admit, theres really no mission statement on the site other than the promise they are the 'foremost' reference for bondage in comics. Gee, are there any OTHER refreneces? And I would think maybe this was just an odd area of research instead of a weird fetish, but there are a few too many close-ups of comic women tied-up, kinda like this one from (gasp!) Archie! |
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Rest your mind, BTW, true believers. Jughead didn't go berserk and tie up Veronica (though Archie might have...well, I'd imagine Reggie would be more into that...anyway.) and Mr. Lodge. Its just a burglar. But bet your lucky stars folks, this ain't NOTHIN' on the weird wide web compared to web-sites we won't even touch that deal with the graphic sexual exploits of one Wilma Flintstone!??!! |
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I find myself sitting here thinking: What's weirder: someone thinking about an animated characters sex life, or someone writing poetry fom the viewpoint of Jamie Summers, The Bionic Woman? I just don't know anymore. I suppose we can take something good out of this: at least they didn't write about bionic sex. I don't THINK they have, anyway.... |
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Oh. My. God. Theres a lot of weird, pointless stuff on the web, but why, in the name of all thats holy, so we need a Virtual Pig Dissection web page? This site abounds with imagery sure to disturb and give nightmares to swine lovers across the globe. Look, I like some ham or bacon every once in a while, but I don't need to know what Arnold Ziffels autopsy might have looked like. Theres far too much info on this site. It reeks of formaldihyde. But, I suppose its better to READ about it than to put Babe to sleep so 16 year olds can chop 'er up in Zoology class. Its just like the man said, "Ham tastes good, bacon tastes good"...speaking of... |
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In JUMBLEs never-ending quest to bring you the BEST of John Travolta, we bring you: DYNAMITE!! No, not a Jimmy Walker fan club, but that ultra-bitchin' late 70s kid magazine. And they had damn good taste in cover guys too. Exhibit one: Travolta in all his 1978 glory. "Barbarino and Beyond"? Whats better or BEYOND Barbarino? Geez. And I assume Dynamite (which you could order out of the 'Weekly Reader' paper you got in English class) was inundated with 8 year olds all over America crying: "You gave us John..BUT WHERES EPSTEIN?" Yes, Juan Epstien, a.k.a. Robert Hedgyes. Did any face sell more magazines than that of Mr. "Up your nose with a rubber hose"? Well, sure. Our one and only JOHN sold more than anyone. Even Horshack, I'll bet.
I might add, if you recall 'Dynamite' as fondly as I do, you'll be thrilled to know theres a Yahoo group dedicated to the mag, as well as a whole (small) web-site! Dig it! |
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Come back Next time for more fun with JUMBLE! |
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