Pickup Lines and Other Seduction Tricks

by Ron Louis & David Copeland

The art of seduction begins with an ability to create romantic conversations, a freedom to flirt, confidence, and a command of language. Shakespeare was lucky enough to have four. Casanova and Don Juan were able to capture scads of woman's hearts by the power of their words, body language, romantic skills, and their sheer animal magnetism.

The world of sex and dating is radically different than ever before. The availability and accessibility of sexual partners is more and more readily available. Today there is an explosion of cyber-sex, hot filled Internet meetings, virtual reality, political correctness as the norm, passion filled sex videos on the rise, personal ads, and a trend toward fashionable singles parties. At the same time it seems easier than ever to screw things up with a woman, and the odds look worse than ever.

The first thing to consider in any flirting and pick up situation is to create clear and precise outcomes for every interaction with a woman. On first contact the goal is to break the ice. Second contact is to establish trust and build rapport. Third is to develop romantic feelings. Fourth is to develop a next date. The fifth and ultimate goal is sex! Along the way it is crucial that you keep yourself focused on the outcome. Also heed the classic motherly advice, stay calm, cool, and collected.

A big part of the art of flirting is timing. There are three types of opening conversations with women. The outcome goal and type of approach varies with each circumstance.

Situation number one. The woman will be at the same place tomorrow or another time. This is your typical busty waitress, sexy grocery store check out girl, raunchy meter maid, or chatty cashier. You know where they will be over the next few days or weeks and can strategize to "bump into them" again and keep building the seduction over time.

Situation number two. The woman will be in the same place for a few hours. This is the chance meeting at an event situation. A woman you meet at a party. A sexy babe you meet and flirt with at a wedding. Seducing a lonely business executive at a hotel lobby or bar, and so on. These situations require you to strut your stuff and work quickly to win her over. The master seducer will use the lack of time to move through the stages of seduction rapidly.

Situation number three. The woman will be gone in a few minutes unless you say something and make your move. This is obviously the most urgent situation of them all and the most difficult to master. Waiting in line at the movies or a store is a good example, or talking to a woman at a nearby table at a restaurant. These situations require you to move quickly on the rapport and trust. But the commando pledge is useful to remember: Go in, get the job done, and get out. Go for the phone number, email address, or place of work. Better yet, move the conversation to a coffee date. In either case, he who hesitates masturbates.

Here is the low down on pick up lines. Michael Cunningham, a psychology professor at the University of Louisville, spent many years studying the success rate of various approaches and lines. In the 1980's he sent graduate students out to bars to do "field research" and the findings were not too surprising. He found that the direct approach was the best. The most successful line was, "I feel a little embarrassed about this, but I'd like to meet you." The runner-up line was, "What do you think of the band?" Running a close third was the obvious, "hi," this worked nearly as well as the others. I'm glad they are handing out Ph.D.'s to figure this rocket science logic out.

While the information from Cunningham validates my premise that we all have what it takes to approach women and persist in our attempts for sex, other "experts" claim that pickup lines simply don't work. Monica Moore, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Webster University in St. Louis, as quoted in Sex a Man's Guide, by Bechtel is one of them. Ms. Monica has been studying courtship issues since 1978 and claims that women have sized you up and decided whether or not they will sleep with you within the first few seconds of meeting. Moore says that the best way to access a woman's level of interest is through body language. The true tell tale signs are the classic licking lips, coy smile, eye brow flash, short darting glances, and her running her fingers through her hair. She says that picking up women is more of a process than an event. It is a sensual dance between a man and a woman, enticing the other into deeper and deeper levels of intrigue and sexual tension.

While both lines and body language signals work, what seems to be more important is the willingness to put yourself on the line and risk rejection.