Finally I have some time for writing. It's been hectic, yes, and I am glad because it keeps my mind busy and away from the computer.
I miss summer. I hate that I need to wear my extra pair of socks now and I hate to wake up in the middle of the night and have this urge..to feel you beside me, your body next to mine. I am sorry it sounds vulgar. (Does it?)
I have started writing this under a certain state of confusion, I have mixed a big number of readings for school, and everything on my mind gets unclear.
If I expect to find a way out by reading that way I am totally wrong. The truth is, it sets me in front of a wall and I can not go any further.
Have you ever known this kind of uncertainty? Have you ever found yourself in front of different options and didn't know what to do?
Have you ever gotten desperate of yourself, simply gotten desperate of yourself?
I am crying as I am writing this. I wish I could be more like you. Stronger. With your determination. I wish I didn't question everything I did and do now. I would be at peace with myself.
I love you, I don't know any other way to express it. It is the first word that comes to my mind, the first, the best.
Sweetheart, I walked outside the house yesterday afternoon to water the plants and a gust of wind brought some strange but sweet smell to the garden. It was you.
It didn't get inside the house, it just stayed outside, on the doorstep. But when I fell asleep that night I could feel it one more time in my dreams. And I was carried by the wind to the desert, very far from here.To a place where time doesn't seem to go by. To a woman whose heart is still as sweet and generous as in my memories. The wind magically took me to you.
Could you feel it too?
Did you feel me with the wind as well?
May 31
Monday 2:35 am
