Why is it so hard to believe that you don't care about me anymore?
Maybe you never cared.
I am a little tired of writing about you, but it is the only way I have to mourn this love. I used to think, a couple of months ago, that this pain was going to last forever. But suddenly I realize I didn't cry for you last night. And that makes me smile..like it was the first victory after a hundred of lost wars.
I am not taking pills anymore. Just one before going to sleep. And that is great..now I know the only effect they can cause is more depression.
There is nothing better than facing the pain awake and conscious. So you learn the lesson well.
However, I still have this image...not of your face (of course), but it is something like a picture of your soul..that maybe it wasn't your soul and it was just mine...and all the love that I felt was beautiful because I wanted it to be that way.
And now the solution would be to "put" all that beautiful and pure
feeling into another place or person...because it was always me all the
time.
(This is something I am just thinking right now..maybe tomorrow I change
my mind).
Maybe Oki was right. I should have listened to thim before..
I am going to bed now. I worked 13 hours non stop today. I am tired and sleepy. (Wow..this pill is good)
Two things before I go:
First, I don't think the "macho bravery" exists, but if it does, you know better (or you should)
And second, try to choose better pics next time..my ass is ten times prettier than hers.
:D
September 5
1:30 am