Okay..here I am, writing this with the topic we agreed a couple of hours
ago. :)
It took me a little while to start typing, I confess. But not because talking about my sexuality would embarrass me in some way, but because it is hard to realize and admit our own frustrations about that.
I consider myself a very sexual person...(does this make sense in english?).
I haven't been raised in a very liberal background to tell the truth, but I have been lucky enough to be open minded about myself and about others sexual life. I am proud of who I am, and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
What do I like? What do I enjoy? I know very well.
I will try to be clear but not too much explicit since I am not at home and this computer has a filter. I will probably finish writing this and wouldn't be able to read not even the half of it. It will all be full of "*****", lol.
I love eroticism. I love sensuality. I love sex when it's practised as an art. When it is a way of expressing the energy that keeps us alive. I love fantasizing, and it's better when I add new things everyday. :)
I feel frustrated when I don't have all I'd want. When I go to bed at night and feel cold and wish she was there to warm me up, to hug me tight, to turn me on. Yes, there are always parallel options, and they are very cool and..comforting, but sometimes my friend it is not enough.
Sometimes I wish it was her hand and not mine.
Sometimes I wish I could wake up in the middle of the night and did what
I have always wanted to do but never got the chance. I wish I could spend the whole night doing it. And wake up the neighbors. I wish I could fuck her until she begs me to stop.
But you know, when things don't turn out the way you expect then you feel frustrated. That's how I feel tonight. I am not ashamed of admiting it.
It happens. But it won't last forever, I am sure.
There are more days to come, better days when I will go to bed and find
her there. And it will be her hand, and not mine..and the neighbors will
probably call the police, and I will laugh at them, laugh at destiny, and she will beg me to stop, and we will spend the whole night floating, dreaming awake, crying with happiness, because it won't be sex anymore.
It will be LOVE.
And my sexual frustration will be just a memory, a sad memory from a time that will hopefully never return.
So Ashe..is this enough?? want some more? hehe...
