(c) 2000
I stood up for the hundredth time and proceeded to look out the window, only to be rewarded with a dark, deserted street with a lone blue Ford sitting on the curb. The dark outlines of the eucalyptus trees moved as the wind slowly shook them awake. A few stars dotted the sky, only increasing in size as the horizon became darker.
It was so late.
I jolted awake and ran to the window. No change. A couple of houses down, the Ford was coming to life. Waving good-bye to the occupants of the house they�d been visiting, they left in a hurry. A hurry to get home into their warm beds and sleep. God, I was so sleepy. Far away dreams of forbidden places and mysterious people beckoned me to bed, calling my name seductively. But I couldn�t sleep. Not until she came home.
I dragged myself into the kitchen, and picked up another coffee cup. In the midst of the mindless task, I thought back to our last talk.
She�d promised me that she�d keep an eye out on the time. No more late nights, at least not without a phone call. And no more fighting. We�d fought so often and about the stupidest things.
But I had promised to stop being uptight�if she promised to be more responsible. So where was she?
Why was she late?
The TV only contained infomercials and a strange man muttering about canines. A movie was on SBS, but the sight of flesh didn�t exactly thrill me as this hour. I wanted her to come home. Ever since her father�
I headed back to the kitchen for another cup of coffee. I was greeted with cups that needed cleaning, and dessert which needed eating. I proceeded to do both, in the hopes that morbid thoughts would bansih themselves from my mind. But, to no avail, they only get worse as time sped by.
Now I was really worried. They were going to the movies. Just her and a couple of friends. They�d seen the late movie. It finished 2 hours ago. I checked. It�s only half-an-hour drive home. So where was she?
I didn�t want to turn the news on. I couldn�t bear it. I continued my vigil at the window, checking every movement, only to be disappointed and taunted by the wind.
It was very late.
The tears came uncalled, yet I couldn�t stop them. I couldn�t sleep. I blamed my tears and thoughts on this. But I knew it wasn�t true. She would never be this late. Something was wrong.
But I can�t go to sleep. I can�t call in case I�m wrong. In case I�m right. I don�t want to know the truth. This way, I can banish my fears, and blame them on my lack of sleep. I can enthusiastically jump up at the sound of each passing car, only to fall back dejectedly on the couch. I have hope. I�ll stare out of this window until�.
The sun�s coming up. Oh god. Please, no.
It was too late.
