Not only haven't I written for a long time, but I haven't updated either. Where' s all the time gone? Nearly a month has flipped by since my last entry. And for that, I must apologise. then again, I don't really know if anybody is actually reading this, so I'm just talking around in circles, aren't I? Hmmm....I think I've finally cracked. Oh wait, I cracked in grade 2.
The biggest news occured yesterday. Taylor hanson, who is one of my idols (Hey! Stop laughing!!!!) is a father. I can't believe it. I eman, I've grown up fdor the last 5 years with him in my head. Ok, there's now ay we'd be together and I knew that...but it was nice to have him in my head, and just daydream about....oh god, I sound like a teenybopper.
I was shocked when I found out he was married. Married! Taylor Hanson, married at 19? It sounded ridiculous. I mean, he has his whole life to get married! Now, i don't mean to be cruel to Taylor, but the first thought that popped into my head was "She's pregnant". Seems I wasn't the only one.
HIs family are evangelists...they would never let their sons imprgnate someone without marrying them. I subsided these thoughts until eysterday. It's true. She gave birth last month, he now has a son. She was 5 months pregnant when they got married.
Gee, Tay, didn't they teach you sex ed? I mean, it's just a condom!
So now, it's forced me to re-evaluate my life. Me and my friend, The Vampyre Ametheyst were laughing about on Saturday. Laughing about the fact that all of our friends have changed in the last 6 years, but we haven't.
But I'm not laughing anymore.
Everyone else has moved on. Moved on in big ways. I'm barely even friends with them. They move out of home, party wildly, get tattoos, have babies, get married, change careers.... But their whole personas have changed too. People who I grew up, who I imagined being friends with for the rest of life, have turned into strangers. I don't recognise them anymore.
Hmph. "I Don't Know You Anymore" by Savage Garden is flitting through my head right now. Pity my mum has the CD.
I mean, I have moved on in life. My tastes have changed and I'm stepping out on my own, figuring out who I am.
But me at 14 and me at 19 aren't big changes.
So what the hell happened to everyone else? What caused them to change so much? WHy can't I speak to these people anymore?
It's just..... sometimes I wonder. I wonder about the factors that ;ead people to the palce they're in. I wonder about why they act the way they do, and try to understand their perspective. I'm a writer, it's in my nature to observe.
But why does it hurt to think that they've moved on and I haven't? Am I destiend to remain in this gear for the rest of mky life? Or will I change into a mega-bitch? WHy is it that everyone morphs around me buit I stay the same?
Maybe that's life. Maybe somebody has to stay the same, to show people where they've been and give them direction to where they're heading. Is that what I've become? Am I a traffic light now? Grrr......life's too damn confusing.
On a lighter note, my travel plans are starting to organise themselves, even without my help...wait, that's a bad thing isn't it? It's like adream. I don;t really feel that it's true, that its going to happen. But it will. And I can't wait. I lvoe travelling. I lvoe meeting new people, meeting old faces, seeing new things.....just seeing somethign different to the monotonous objects. I can;t stand seeing the same things everyday, or the same faces. I ened something different.
You know what I can't stand? Going to the airport and not getting on an aeroplane. I hate taking people to the airport or picking them up, because I have this incessant urge to get onto a plane and travel somehwere.
Great. Now my grandmother is trying to convince me not to go. What is this, confuse Angel day? First my fatehr is unhappy wiuth my plans..."I don't want you going to New York, it's too dangerous", and now my grandmother doesn't want me to go around the world.
Um hello? Who's going overseas? Me. Yes, me. Not ytou. Therefore, it's my choice. Bloody hell, if I decide that I want to quickly go around the world on a quick trip, then that's what I'll do! It might not be the best option. It might be awful! But it's my trip and my choice to take that chance. I have to experience life for myself, my way. Not somebody else's way. Why is it that the only way I can explain that to my family is tO HAVE THEM READ IT ON MYT WEBSITE? Sorry...accidently pressed capslock.
I'm going to change topics. It was meant to be happy, but it ended up slightly depressing. Oh joy, I'm in a mood.
Hey! Harry potter comes out next week! Yes! I can't wait! ok, so it's slightly childish, but I love Harry Potter and I'm dying to see this movie! I'm really, really, really excited about it. Can't you tell?
Hmmm...my wit, humour and my brain have gone on holiday. Figures they'd leave me behind.
Angel.
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