You know something? Life really sucks. Seriously, most people who know me say I have it really easy, sure I may not have a strong father figure, but I have a mother who would die for me in a heartbeat if she had to, and yes that is nice, but there are other things. I'm a dreamer. I have aspirations that would love to fulfill, but never will because I'm also weak. I dream about what will happen in my life, but I'm unrealistic. The only people I include are those I know, but perhaps that's normal considering that I can't imagine up those I have yet to meet. It's odd though. I've moved away from my friends and I've dated only one person outside of that close network of people. I don't know what strikes me more profoundly odd though... the fact that I dated one guy and then four months later dated his best friend, or the fact that that particular scenario in fact damn near parallels the current storyline of Dawson's Creek. Sick? yeah I know. But then again I'm someone who's been ready to graduate since they were in kindergarten. It just seemed so long though, and I'm finally a year away from freedom, but I'm also a year away from gaining more responsibility, and I realize that this is my last year as a kid.... isn't that sad? I mean, it seems like only yesterday that I was holding on tightly to my oldest brother's hand crying and begging him not to make me to into the "scary kindy-garten room", and then Miss Quickle (yes that was her name, I shit you not) came and told me it was okay... and now I'm standing at the thresh hold of my last year, feeling that same fear.... I don't want to go through with it, but I know I've finally made it. I've grown tired of imagining my time at college (yes I actually do imagine all that fun fun studying i'm gonna get to do!!!) and am ready to live it. Besides, if all goes well I'll even have a mama and a papa at the school I want to go to. Won't it be nice? Oh well i can't really classify this as a rant, but I'll put it up anyway.... just don't get mad about it... I'm sure if you give me a few days I can find something worth bitching about.... later