| 29.August.02 I can't really say I've avoided this entry, but in a way I have. I suppose I'm just trying to prepare you, cause I think this could end up being the most offensive thing I've said yet, but Jesus is it funny. I've been thinking a lot lately about the people I've known, and cared about in my life. There are a lot of them, but only one person ever taught me the principle that I consider my mantra today. He didn't just flat out tell me it, I learned it through watching him. Observing one might say, and to be honest, I don't even think what I learned was entirely correct, but all I know, is that there is NOTHING funnier, I repeat, NOTHING FUNNIER than a cripple with a dream. Now I know most people will either be pissing themselves out of the crass nature of the statement, or be repulsed with anger due to the aforesaid crass nature of the statement. But here me out. Think about it. A cripple with the dream of being a rock star. LMAO holy shit. Can you actually see him hobbling with his "Jimmy-sticks" or wheeling in his chair on to a stage where he "bares his soul to the crowd" c'mon, we all know why the crowd's there. It's the same effect the bearded lady has at the circus. No one actually cares about his "art" it's like Timmy on South Park... they just think it's fucking hilarious that a cripple is up there. Now not all people who can't walk are cripples.... some are just handicapped, and that's cool... the cripples are the people I'm talking about. The ones who have to be waited on hand and foot, and the only way they'll ever leave home is if someone ever bothers to marry them... and they'll just be waited on by that spouse. Kinda sucks doesn't it... but let me give you another example.... Imagine a cripple (let's say he has CP and Epilepsy) who wants to become.... a professional baseball player... Keep the Jimmy-sticks, add a helmet, and a baseball bat with a shoulder strap... there is no way, you can tell me that that is not funny. I think the helmet just puts it over the top. What's his batting average gonna be? .350??? please... he'll be lucky if it's .090 Now keep the same cripple, lets say he gets on base, via a walk or in his case a "Jimmy-stroll" can you imagine him trying to steal second base? Granted he may have an extra 3 feet due to the Jimmy-sticks, but momentum is going to be a definite problem. Now lets find ourselves a new cripple... how about a parapalegic? Sounds good. Now is said parapalegic going to be an Olympic swimmer. Changes are no. It's just too funny though. Watching someone who has even less of a chance at succeeding in the "dream jobs" than I do. I used to think that was never possible. But thanks to a past friend, I know that's entirely untrue... I'm more qualified than all the cripples in the world, and if you're not crippled, so do you! so say it with me now, There's nothing funnier than a cripple with a dream |