| 12.May.01 "Oh well. It doesn't matter." My signature phrase. Has been for years. I just said it again. My whole life is changing. I'm so terrified, it makes me physically ill, and all I can keep on saying is, "Oh well. It doesn't matter." I've been so tempted to do something drastic to myself, just so I'll feel a little bit free... more like myself.. but the only thing i can do is chop off my hair or color it black... neither of which I want to do. I just don't want to let anyone down. Everyone thinks I'm so great. I'm not! I'm me. I wake every morning and I spend the day just hoping I don't let anyone down. I hear everyone tell me how great I am. Gee thanks.... wish I could get a subscription to whatever delusional magazine that is... okay aimee.. cut the sarcasm... See, I'm trying this new thing, where I be open about my emotions.. you know, let people know i have them. And I don't think tonight is the night to do it..... Aimee |