| 07.March.01 Well things have improved a great deal. And believe it or not. I'm actually in a good mood. (Thank you Jon!!) But I have to rant briefly and then maybe I'll disclose a few tidbits of information... :) Well anyways, I was talking to my ex online the other night, and I did mention to him (in an e-mail prior to this conversation) that I would like a ring that was given to him during our ill-fated joke of a relationship. However, of course he refuses to return it... of course. Which strikes me as odd because he's a got a new girlfriend, who he claims he's perfectly happy with. (Good for him), but if that's true, why would you want to hold on to your past ("Because it reminds me of a happy time in my life") yeah, like your life sucks ass right now. I would seriously like to have that back. it is not his. But then he says something on the lines of, "you need to accept some blame for once in your life" Now, me wanting my ring back, does not seem like a blame situation, or am I just completely dillusional? My only guess is that he's still pissed about our break up.. (if that's the case, get the hell over it, I don't regret it) However, I do feel I should thank him. I mean, about a month ago, I thought I was falling for him again, but he turned me down, and for the next month, each and EVERY time we talked he reminded me of the reason he is an ex-boyfriend. I mean, who hell wants to know if your g/f had an "orgasmic morning". Kinda makes me wonder what he said when he and I were dating. I personally would be royally pissed if I found out someone was talking about it to anyone. I can understand the typical male macho persona ("yeah I dropped my pants and she was pregnant"), but Christ save it for your fucking real friends. But now in order for me to get my ring back, I have to go down there and get it. I hate to say it, but I will most likely never see that ring. who knows maybe someday down the road he'll give it to his daughter (if he actually pro-creates), I'm seriously beginning to think I need to go and find that necklace he gave me and fed-ex it to him. Anywho, my weekend (other than the aforementioned incident) was wonderful. You ever notice that when you're trying to completely delude yourself into believing you don't like someone in that special way, that someone ends up kissing you and you're forced to realize that "Shit, I like it like that hey-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya baby I like it like that" :) And yes that happened this weekend. I won't go so far as to say I'm in love, but I certainly do love him. But I have to say, this has to be a record for delusion... 9 months.. wow. Even I'm impressed and I'm damn good at surpressing my feelings. Well my dearies, I'm gonna go. I hope you all have a super super special super day. Aimee |