Welcome to my life. I'm not in a bad mood, just irritated that everyone's getting twitterpated and I'm getting left behind. Second valentine's day I've spent alone. Granted there's only been one valentine's day that I've ever had someone to be with, but it still is annoying. just another halmark holiday that celebrates the fact that some people are meant to walk the earth alone, while glorifying those who can find someone who makes them feel all warm and gushy. doesn't that just make us all so happy? c'mon lets give them a round of applause... it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's too lazy to lift up their hands and congratulate people, whose choice to love one another is only going to make their lives miserable in the future.
I know I'm extremely negative about love, which brings the question, why? Well my friends, I honestly don't think that relationships are as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are. I've seen my mother go through 3 marriages in which not only the male decided he was in charge, but decided to either verbally, physically or in one case sexually abuse her children or just her. And then there are my follies, the first one assaulted me sexually and then the rest of them just I don't know, some made me feel great about myself most of the time, others, I just felt cheap. Therefore, I have some very strong hateful feelings toward love in general. It's great, but within a month (if it even lasts that long) I'm anticipating that they're just going to hurt me, or they're getting way too close to me so, I do something or "start acting up" so they'll realize how not right I am for them. It's just so damn annoying to watch people be in love. I want that, but at the same time, i know somewhere in there I'm going to get hurt so I just don't do it. There are guys I like, but I would never ever date them.... I'd get hurt. "and we all something beautiful, and i wish I was beautiful...."
Aimee