| 08.February.01 Well, the audition is in 2 days, and I'm ready. I was in Appleton with my school's Concert Chorale yesterday, for a clinic with Richard Bjella, the choral director. I like him, he's a good conductor, full of enthusiasm and uses humour to get what he wants from the choir... pretty cool. I spent most of the day hanging with Kristen and Adam. We did the campus tour and stuff, and Adam and I ran up to the balcony to watch the women's choir rehearse. I should give some back ground info about he and I. We've been friends for about 2 years now, and it's always been kinda flirtatious. He's a sweet, albeit fickle boy, but fiercely loyal, and I really love him. He's a thrill to be around. (now that that's been taken care of back to the story) So, we're up there and eventually the rest of our sexually charged group consisting of Leah, Travis, and Kristen joined us. None of us dating one another, just constant flirting... sounds like the start of some freaky orgy to me. But anywho, we then left for Green Bay and it was already starting to snow, we ate dinner and ended up driving to the Weidner in some nasty conditions. By this point though, I was really tired, I mean a day that started at 6:30am after a night of restless sleep can do that to you, so we got there and to our nosebleed seats and sat down, Kristen and Adam on both sides of me and by half way through the third scene, I was falling asleep. I put my head on Adam's shoulder and he put his head on my mine and we both fell fast asleep by the second act area, with off and on bouts of consciousness. But afterwards Kristen said something that had me awake until 3am. "You like Adam don't you" Of course, I said no, but I had from 10pm- 3am to think about... which for the most part I did. Maybe I do. But if I do, what does it matter? He's got a girlfriend, and even if that weren't a factor. I love him way too much to want to end up the way that Art and I did. Holy crap. I don't want to think about that happening to he and I. But how long can I keep denying this to myself? I doubt it's love. I truthfully think it's just infatuation. I mean, christ look at him. He is extremely pleasant to the eye, and he's funny and good natured. If only his gf could see how he flirts with the girls at our school though. Wow. She could take him too, but that's life. But the official verdict is, I have no clue how to feel, but Adam and I will never be anything more than friends. I couldn't bear to lose him as I lost Art. Oh well. Laters. Aimee |