| 24.April.01 I know based upon this background, you're all hoping it's gonna be a happy one. God, you have no idea how much I wish that were true. My dreams are falling apart before my eyes, and I don't know what to do anymore. I took a stress test today at school and registered at 537 or around that number... now 300+ is where they consider you to be severely stressed. Right now, I find myself crying at the drop of a hat. And I may as well tell why I am feeling so wretched. I went to visit my university. Now it's a wonderfully beautiful campus, and everyone made me feel very welcome... except the one person who holds my future in his hands. Misha Rosenker. I've had little contact with him prior to this meeting, and he made me feel like I couldn't do anything with my life, with my passion. He told me to go to a different school entirely. Start out at a Junior College, and then go on to a different university, making it painfully clear that he really, really didn't want to teach me. I am so willing to learn, because I really want to teach. It's what I was born for. I may have the voice to become famous beyond belief, but what will that bring to me? A lot of money, but I won't have a student come up to me with tears in their eyes caused by pride in themselves. I won't have a student ask me for help, or even thank me the way I thank the lord every day for Gary Wolfman's influence on my life. That man is a blessing to me, but I just don't know if I can be as good as him one day. Lord knows. This is just a minor set back..... I hope. I just feel so lost right now. Aimee |