Driving home from work today I saw a car wreck. Not just your run of the mill car wreck, a full-blown, head-on car crash. It must've just happened, there was only one ambulance and they were giving a man on a back-board CPR in the middle of the road. As I sat in traffic for almost an hour not moving, I began thinking about my life. How pointless and useless I've become to society. If it were me on that board...would it make a difference in anyone's life? Besides the man in the Jaguar next to me mumbling about his lost time, or the soccer mom in the mini-van a few lanes over desperately trying to get to her son's game on time, would it really affect anyone? Would I just be a headline in the next day's Gazette? How have I contributed anything to society? Sure, I gave blood, once. I adopted dogs from the Humane Society a few times, I've donated a couple of bucks to a few charities, bought my share of Girl Scout cookies, but nothing outstanding.How would my obituary read?
Julie,22 died Friday evening in a car wreck. She is survived by her divorced parents (who will the complain about each other to now?), a brother, 28, who she hasn't talked to in years, two grandmothers she's drifted away from, family she never talks to, and J, a guy she's been screwing for two years, but nothing serious. She will be sadly missed for about three weeks and four days, then we will forget about her, the way she forgot about us while she was still living. Services will be held Sunday morning in a park, as she was not a religious girl, and has probably already been damned to hell. Donations, if any, will be taken in her name for the Humane Society.
How pathetic. I need to start making a difference. Life has become nothing but a routine I can't stand. Alright, I'm sure your sick of my pathetic whining. I'm sorry all my entries have been angry or depressing lately...I gotta get out of this funk I'm in. Me
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