ENTER
MMMmmmmwhhhaaarrrrr!!!...
be prepared for the most frightning time of your sorry little lives <queue evil laugh> . My name is Egor and i will be your guide this evening.I cannot give you shit-scary things like erm.... Barbara Streisand, Phil Collins, or Bob Monkhouse, but I can promise you a fright. Watch out for the spooky spider... <queue "ohhh spooky spiders!> and terrible tangerine, I mean textbook, oh hell, nevermind. Dinner is a 7pm. <queue creeking doors and a high pitched scream>.
By clicking ENTER on this site, you agree to the genetic cloning of um... cotton wool, yellow paint....... and...... magenta food colouring, and other important stuff that causes controversial issues in today's modern society.
THE DMS ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY INJURIES, COST, OR MENTAL TORMENT CAUSED BY BEING JUMPED ON BY ANGRY, DECEASED FUNGI.
WE SUGGEST LAST MODE OF DEFENCE, IS TO HIT THEM WITH A SMALL... NO, BIG STICK, OR CALL THEM A NASTY NAME LIKE, UM... PHILL COLLINS TO MAKE THEM CRY.
IF YOU ARE OVER 60.... WELL DONE!
IF YOU ARE OVER 16 BUT NOT QUITE 60, THEN PLEASE ENTER SAFE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU WILL LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO FINISH READING THIS LITTLE PILE OF BULLSHIT
IF YOU ARE UNDER 16..... FUCK OFF AND GO TO BLOODY BED!. (THERE'S A LOT OF FUCKING SWEARING IN THIS SITE WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T BE FUCKING READING!.)
welcomes you .... you, yes you, now don't you feel special and wanted!!
