Sorry we're late, but we thought we'd surprise you with a Tuesday morning email instead of Monday morning one ... so .... erm ... SURPRISE!
Anyway, it's amazing how the same events can be seen completely differently by different people ...
Mekong Delta
Tessa: Had a very interesting two-day trip to the Mekong Delta - the heartlands of Vietnam. Really good to see the everyday lives of some of Vietnam's poorest people ... oh, and the children were so adorable!
Jules: Learnt about all sorts of different uses for rice (?!) and waved at a lot of small (generally naked) children who seemed incredibly excited to see us - maybe this is what being like a Big Brother Celebrity is like? - although their cries of "Hello Mister" did get a bit tiresome after a while.
Mui Ne
Tessa: Bloody sandflies. I hate them. Got covered in bites from head to toe which are still itching and showing no signs of going away 2 weeks later. What makes it worse is that Jules didn't get bitten by a single one - git!
Decided to try and find a restaurant for dinner along the 22km stretch of beach on a motorbike - the only real way of getting around. Didn't have the problem this time that we had in Langkawi of the motorbike helmet not fitting on Jules' head as they don't wear helmets in Vietnam. Was a bit nervous about getting on the back of the bike after Jules couldn't even start the thing but after a shaky start we made it safely to a bar.
A few drinks later we headed back to the bike to search for a restaurant. As I whispered into Jules' ear "Not too fast!" we suddenly took off across the gravel forecourt straight into the concrete entrance post and both landed in a flower bed. I was most worried about the white trousers I was wearing and had a big bruise on my shin which I moaned about of course ... until I saw the size of the lump on Jules' shin and promptly shut up!
"I couldn't find the brake" was his excuse!
Jules: Really nice beach although I've seen more nightlife in Docklands on a Sunday lunch time. Tessa insisted on letting the sandflies have free reign over her legs ... and arms ... and belly .... and neck ... and then had the nerve to complain that she was coverd in bites - I said she should have taken a leaf out of my book ... I find a stern look if they get too close is generally enough to show them whose boss - as proved by my zero bite count! ;-)
Hired a faulty motorbike (dodgy brakes) to find some food and nightlife but despite the faults, I drove it expertly - even managing to dart across a hotel courtyard on it to get a closer look at an extremly rare lesser spotted "dragon-monkey" gecko that I spotted scurrying up the concrete gatepost! I felt that the tennis ball sized bruise on my leg that I got in the process was more than worth the face to face meeting with one of the rarest animals in the world - did you know there are only 4 left in the world ... well actually 3 now that one is firmly stuck in the tread of our front motorbike wheel - unfortunately Tessa didn't seem to think similarly about the grass stains on her white trousers - I think it was just bitterness cos she didn't see the gecko!
Dalat
Tessa: Got wet, got conned. Nice hotel though!
Jules: Got wet, got conned. Free internet though!
Nha Trang
Tessa: Cool! They have mattresses on the sun loungers here and the hawkers provide anything you could wish for from crabs & lobsters which they cook infront of you to postcards. You don't need to leave the sun lounger all day! As all of you who have been to Nha Trang told us to go on Mama Hanh's "party" boat we decided to seek her out, but apparently she has been arrested (?) so we went on Mama Linh's which we were assured was "same, same". Little did we know that the day we had chosen was Vietnamese National Day (celebrating independence from the French) and hence the whole of Vietnam together with all their brothers and sisters descended on Nha Trang - and all decided to do Mama Linh's boat trip - so we spent the day singing Vietnamese songs and not understanding a word of them!
Made up for our lack of partying during the day that night though! Headed to The Sailing Club early which is where it's at and proceeded to make up for lost time. Jules was lucky on the pool table (didn't leave it for 4 hours!) but luckily there were lots of other people to talk to. Around 3 am the Irish contingent arrived and persuaded us, well me actually cos Jules was still playing pool, to drink vodka on the beach until sunrise. I bought a bottle and headed outside. An hour or so later Jules staggers out looking much the worse for wear and despite the fact that I was having a lot of fun (and hadn't started on the vodka yet), had no choice but to carry him home. He got a bit heavy after a while and so I put him in a cyclo much to the amusement of the driver who I don't think had ever heard anyone hiccuping so loudly.
Eventually got him into bed and we both passed out....until I was rudely awakened at 5.30 am by something warm and wet. Yup - Jules had puked all over himself, me and the bed. Not amused! Got him into the shower and back to bed and then washed myself and the sheet - MINGING!!!
He was sick on the beach the next day too which was very embarrassing!
Jules: Nice place! Comfy loungers, good food although slightly too crowded a beach for any proper frisbee playing - something about celebrating getting rid of all the Frenchy's who apparently used to live here - sounds like a valid excuse for a holiday to me!
Had one particularly good night at the Sailing Club where I completely daddied the pool table for about 4 hours! It was like some sort of Tom Cruise / Nicole Kidman film - there was me with my golden touch on the table showboating for the appreciative locals with my gorgeous girlfriend looking on from the sidelines - she must have been so proud!
Admittedly had a couple of drinks and don't remember getting home that clearly but as my pool game semed to be unaffected I can't have been that bad! And with my new svelte 84kg frame I can't haave been that difficult to get home!
Felt a bit rough in the morning but soon shook it off. Had what must have been a dodgy lasagne for lunch because I suddenly came over all funny in the afternoon and had a minor incident on the beach - noone noticed though.
Hoi An
Tessa: Famous for its tailors so we took advantage! 3 suits each plus shirts etc. Bit worried that my shirts look like they date back to the 70s with their wing collars but I'm hoping that they just look a bit strange cos I haven't worn a shirt in a while! Sent home 18kg of stuff - mostly Jules's!
Jules: Just about managed to restrain Tessa from buying too many clothes and even managed to pick up a couple of choice items for myself Not sure if Tessa's 70s-throw-back winged collar numbers will go down well at home but they'll be good for fancy dress!
Hue
Tessa: Bit boring but pleasant enough. Went to see some famous pagodas which were nice.
Jules: Saw the car which belonged to that monk dude who burned himself in Saigon in 1963 and made it onto the cover of the first Rage Against The Machine Album (claim to fame or what!!) Also had cable TV in the room - wicked!
Where next?
Tessa: Off to Hanoi tonight for a week or so. While we're there we'll probably do a couple of trips to Halong Bay and Sapa, beofre heading to Hong Kong on the 17th/18th.
Jules: Off to Hanoi tonight for (hopefully) more cable TV and to get some films developed. Then flying to Hong Kong for more cheap DVD's!
Love to all
Jules & Tessa xxx
P.S.
Doug - isn't it past your bed time? Heard about your shameful performance at the August Birthday Bash but I guess you aren't getting any younger!
Will - how was the date?
Sarah/Anna/Jennie/Gino - have a great leaving do!
Sarah W - Expect your mum absolutely loved the hurricane Fabian episode and can't wait for you to get there!
Tim - Take back everything I said about getting a job - now I've got noone to chat to on Messenger! And NO cricket updates either!
Tory / Liz - what are your Oz itineraries?
Andy - Happy belated birthday - we had no joy tracking down Ha, sorry!
Katrina - Where does Hoa work?
Mike - Still no fantasy league team?
Lorraine - How's the shopping going?
Brian - How are the Go-Go Girls ... erm ... going?
Jim / Sarah - right back at ya!