| Fuzz |
| Justin stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. He hated his hair. Or the absence of his hair. All that was left of his soft curls was fuzz. It had only been a few days and he already wanted them back. He was usually good about getting used to his new hairstyles, but this one was� well, he didn�t like it. And he hated himself for letting Lance talk him into it. Justin had been in love with Lance ever since *Nsync had started. The first day Justin met him, he knew he was in love. He had held it inside for six long years and then one day he had decided to come out. He knew that if he kept it inside much longer, he would burst. He would often lie awake at night, planning out how he would tell Lance and then imagining different reactions. The first was the one he hated. Justin was very worried because Lance�s religion was very strict about gay people. He had nightmares that Lance would call him names and then say �I hate you.� Justin always woke up crying. He hated that dream. But he had others, which weren�t so bad. There was one where Lance would accept Justin, but he wasn�t in love with him. They would just stay friends. Justin liked that one better than Lance calling him names. And then there was the one where Lance would smile and say, �I love you, too.� And they would live happily ever after. Justin laughed a bitter laugh when he thought about his happy dream. �That will never happen,� he thought to himself, �Lance isn�t gay and I�m just a friend to him.� Then the day came when Justin had promised himself he would tell Lance how he felt. He was so nervous, but he was determined to do it. He asked Lance to meet him in his room after the show they did that night. When Lance had arrived, Justin told him to sit down and then blurted out that he loved Lance. It wasn�t how he�d planned to do it, but he couldn�t change it. Lance had been shocked. He had been speechless. Justin was just thankful that Lance wasn�t yelling obscene things at him. When Lance finally spoke, he said, �You�re serious?� �Yeah,� Justin replied softly, focusing his attention on the ring on his finger so he wouldn�t have to look at Lance. �Wow,� Lance said. �Wow?� Justin asked. �Yeah. Wow,� Lance repeated. �Ok,� Justin said, wondering what wow meant but deciding not to ask again. He didn�t want to annoy Lance. And that was the end of the conversation. Lance then changed the subject to something else and left soon after. Justin didn�t know what to do, so he didn�t do anything. He just sat and thought about what had happened. �What the hell did he mean by wow,� Justin wondered to himself. He soon found out. *********** Over the next few days nothing really changed. But on the fourth day after Justin had told Lance, he noticed something. Lance was spending a lot more time with him. He would also touch Justin a lot more. In a friendly way, but still, it happened a lot more often than usual. Then one night, he kissed Justin while they were in the hotel room they shared. But it wasn�t what Justin had imagined. He�d imagined a soft, passionate, loving kiss. The kiss he received was the opposite. It was hard and demanding. It held no love. Justin was disappointed and also surprised. Lance was different than he had thought. The next night, they were still sharing a room, Lance kissed him again. It was the same kind of kiss as the night before. But this time it was urgent. Lance then proceeded to rip Justin�s shirt apart and trail his warm hands down Justin�s chest. He broke the kiss to push Justin down on the bed. Justin tried to protest, but Lance silenced him with his lips. Justin knew now that this wasn�t what he wanted. He wanted a gentle, loving Lance, not a mean, demanding Lance. Lance was now working on Justin�s pants. Justin�s head screamed �no� and again Justin tried to protest, but Lance�s firm glare shut him up. Lance pulled Justin�s pants and boxers down and moved in on Justin�s throbbing erection. �Why do I have to like him so much?� Justin thought to himself. He groaned when he felt Lance�s tongue run down the length of his heat. �Oh God,� he realized, �he�s going to rape me.� Justin tried for a third time to make Lance stop, but shut up when Lance�s teeth began to sink into him. �Shit,� he thought, �what do I do?� There was nothing he could do, so he laid there while Lance raped him. That was the night Justin fell out of love with Lance. But that didn�t mean Lance was done with him. Lance loved the control he held over Justin. He could do anything he wanted and Justin couldn�t stop him. Justin knew that he would be punished if he went against what Lance said. And that�s why he cut his hair. Lance wanted him to. He hated Lance for it, but there was nothing he could do. THE END |