chapter1-3

CHAPTER 1

Of all the things that had happened to him in his life the past few years, this was something he hadn�t ever imagined happening. He had always wanted to be a singer, maybe even a famous one. And as a kid he loved to perform, whether it was dancing or acting. He had participated in all the plays at his school and was in the choir too. He had also dreamed that one day he would sing in a group like his father did. The day that dream came true was the best day of his life. Besides the fact that he got to perform in front of a large audience almost every night when they were on tour, he had met the four best friends a guy could have.
They were always so comfortable around each other because they knew each other so well.

That all changed for Joey when he realized something. He was gay. And not only that, but he was in love with one of his four best friends. He laughed bitterly when he thought about how he was always called the lady�s man and the flirty one. Wouldn�t all their fans be surprised to find out the lady�s man liked men? Or that he flirted with men, not women? He wondered what the guys would think. He knew he needed to tell them why he had been so distant lately because they were beginning to worry. He owed it to them to let them know what was going on, but he was afraid. He was afraid of rejection, especially from one of the members. He didn�t know if he could go on if the group hated him. Or if the man he loved rejected him. So that�s why he was waiting. He was stalling as long as possible before he told them.

But he could only stall for so long. The guys were beginning to get really worried about him and they were constantly on his case about what was wrong. Just telling them that he was ok or would be ok wasn�t enough anymore. He was the one who always dragged them out to clubs every night to go dancing, but he hadn�t been to a club in over two weeks and the guys, even though they complained when they were dragged out, missed partying with Joey. Joey knew he was being pathetic, wallowing in self-pity. He knew that he would have to tell them soon because he felt like he was going to explode. So one day, when they had a day off, Joey decided to tell the guys his secret.

He had planned it out in his mind so many times that he was sure nothing could go wrong. That is, unless the guys hated him. Joey called a group meeting later that night. He asked all the guys to come to his room at nine and said it was very important. Lance and JC were the first to arrive, followed closely by Chris. Justin joined them about five minutes later claiming that he was on the phone with him mom. They all sprawled out around the couch and waited for Joey to speak. �Um, hey guys,� Joey said.

�Hey Joe, what�s up man?� Justin asked.

�Yeah, we were gunna go clubbing tonight! Hurry up!� Chris chimed in.

�Uh, this might take a while,� Joey replied wringing his hands together.

�What�s bothering you?� JC asked carefully.

�Well, it�s kind of complicated,� Joey started.

�You can tell us, Joe. We�re your best friends� at least I hope we are,� Lance said with a smile.

�Yeah, I know. That doesn�t make this any easier though,� Joey said, wondering if Lance would still feel the same once he knew.

�Take your time Joey, we have all night,� Justin said, trying to make Joey more comfortable.

�Thanks, J,� Joey said. They sat for a minute in silence before Joey spoke again.
�I wanted to let you guys know that I�. Well, ever since�. I mean, um�. I don�t know how to say this�� Joey sighed.

�Joey, it can�t be that bad,� Chris told him.

�� I�m gay,� Joey blurted out, watching for the reactions of his four best friends.

CHAPTER 2

Looking around, Joey saw that all four of his friend�s eyes were wide and their jaws were hanging open. JC was the first to recover, �Wow, I wasn�t expecting that. But Joey, you know I support any decision you make, I�m behind you man.�

�Thanks C,� Joey said smiling the he still had at least one friend. But JC wasn�t the one he was worried about. He looked over at the three remaining friends who had yet to speak.

�You mean� but how�. and when�are you�.I don�t�� Chris stammered, still in shock.

�I haven�t known very long, maybe a month,� Joey told them, �And yes I�m sure.�

�Wow,� was all Chris could say.

�Cool,� Justin said suddenly.

�Cool?� Joey asked, �What?�

�I�ve never known a gay guy before,� Justin explained.

�Oh,� Joey said, �so you�re ok with it?�

�Of course Joe, you know I love ya, but not that way� er, you know what I mean,� Justin said blushing.

Joey laughed for the first time in days. And soon JC, Chris, and Justin joined in. �I know what you mean, Justin,� Joey assured him. Soon the laughter died, and so did Joey�s happiness, when he noticed the one of his friends wasn�t laughing.

Lance hadn�t moved since Joey said he was gay. Joey�s heart dropped when he realized what could happen. Lance was the one he was really worried about because he had been raised very religiously and his religion said being gay was a sin. Joey got up and went to sit by Lance. �Get away from me!� Lance yelled, finally breaking out of his trance. Lance continued yelling every insult he could think of at Joey, not even realizing how much Joey would be impacted. Then the three words that Joey had dreaded came out of Lance�s mouth, �I hate you!�

Joey broke then, curling up in a ball on the floor, his heart broken. One of his best friends had just told him the worst thing possible. Joey could tell that the guys were moving around him and he could hear their hushed voices, but that was all blocked out as soon as he closed his eyes and saw Lance�s face. �I hate you!� echoed in hind mind over and over again until he thought he would go insane. He jumped a little when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He hadn�t realized he was sobbing until he felt the wetness on his shirt. �Joe, man, I�m sorry,� JC said in a soft voice. He then lifted Joey up a little and brought him into a hug. Joey was still crying, his body shaking from the sobs that racked his body. �shhh, it�ll be ok Joey. It�s ok, shhhh�� JC said rubbing his hand in circles on Joey�s back to calm him. After a few more minutes, or maybe hours, Joey didn�t know, he finally calmed enough to speak.

�He hates me, Jace, he hates me!� Joey said, sniffling.

�No, Joe, he doesn�t. He just didn�t know how to react. I�m sure he�s regretting everything he said right now. Don�t worry about that though. We�re here for you,� JC assured him.

He looked up for the first time since he had begun crying, and he noticed that Justin and Chris we sitting by his side with concerned looks on their faces. Joey started crying again, but this time it was happy tears. He couldn�t believe how supportive his friends were being. �I love you guys, you know that right?� Joey asked.

�We know Joey, we know,� Chris said.

�We love you too Joe,� Justin added. And Joey smiled for the first time since his heart was broken.

CHAPTER 3

The next morning, when Joey finally regained consciousness, he groaned remembering the night�s events. He tried to sit up but laid back down immediately when he felt a pounding in his head. He looked over at the couch on the other side of the room and smiled a small, confused smile when he saw JC lying there sleeping peacefully. He thanked God that he hadn�t lost all of his friends last night and that JC was such a caring person. He tiptoed to the bathroom to get some Tylenol for his headache that was fading slowly. He then walked into the kitchenette and got out some bacon and eggs. He began to cook them and made some coffee for both him and JC.

He jumped a little when he heard JC voice, �Mornin� Joey.�

�Mornin� C,� Joey replied, setting their breakfast on the table.

�How did you sleep,� JC asked in a concerned voice.

�Ok, considering the circumstances,� Joey replied, a sad smile on his face, �thanks for staying here with me.�

�No problem, Joey, I just wanted to make sure you were ok,� JC told him.

�Do we have anything to do today?� Joey asked, dreading the response. He didn�t want to have to act normal around Lance today.

�Nope, we canceled the only thing we had today so we could all relax,� JC said.

�You shouldn�t have canceled something because of me, Jace. I can handle it,� Joey sighed, feeling relieved but guilty.

�I know Joey, but we haven�t had a day off in a while, and�� JC started.

�There�s no was I�m not going to complain about a day off though,� Joey said with a smile.

�You better not,� JC said before sliding a piece of bacon in his mouth and grinning at his friend.

As he woke up, Lance slowly opened his eyes and stretched out his tired muscles. He groaned and shut his eyes again, remembering the awful words he had thrown at Joey last night. He didn�t know why he had said them, and he certainly didn�t mean them. It wasn�t what the other guys were thinking. It wasn�t because of his upbringing�he didn�t think Joey was a sinner for being gay. But because Joey had come out, it made Lance have to re-think the different and strange feelings he�d been having lately.

Justin woke up with a start. He�d had a nightmare and woke covered in sweat. But he couldn�t remember what his nightmare was about. All he remembered was that it had to do with something about what happened last night. Last night had been a disaster. Well for the most part. Justin had known for years that he was bi. He had never told any of the guys in fear of what their reaction would be. He never thought that Joey would tell them that he was gay when he called the meeting last night. He felt like such a wuss now for being too scared to tell the guys. But now he knew he couldn�t tell them because of Lance�s reaction to Joey�s news. He didn�t want Lance to hate him too. �God I�m such a wuss,� he thought to himself, �Why can�t I just get over it and tell them?� He decided to compromise with himself. He would tell just Joey so Joey wouldn�t feel so alone and they could deal with everything together.

Joey jumped when he heard a knock at his door. He smiled at JC before getting up to answer it. He opened the door and was surprised to see Justin standing there. �Hey Justin, what�s up? Have you had your cereal yet?� Joey said, his eyes twinkling.

�Ha ha Joe� Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a little while,� Justin said.

�Hey Justin,� JC said as he came to the door, �what�s up?�

�I just wanted to talk to Joey for a sec,� Justin told him.

�Ok, I was just leaving anyway,� JC replied, �Come down to my room when you�re done and we can find something to do today.�

�Sure JC,� Joey said, closing the door. �So what did you want to talk about J?�

Chris slowly paced his hotel room trying to figure out what to do. He was very worried about Joey, but knew that JC was there to take care of him. He wasn�t sure if he should go talk to Lance yet because he was still mad about what Lance said last night. He wanted to be able to talk with Lance, not just yell at him. And right now, he wasn�t sure that was possible. He had never imagined Joey telling them he was gay. He knew Joey had had many one-night stands with random women so this was a surprise. But it wasn�t a bad surprise. Chris surprised himself by totally not minding the fact the Joey was gay. Some people felt weird around gay people, but Chris was glad that he didn�t. He decided that as soon as he calmed down he would go over and talk to Lance.

Lance didn�t know what to do with himself. He had nothing to do because he was sure that all of the guys were really pissed at him right now. All he could do was pace. He wasn�t sure how long he�d been pacing, but he was startled out of his trance when someone knocked at his door. �Oh shit,� he thought, �someone�s gunna yell at me now.� He opened the door to see Chris. He thought that JC would be the one to come in and lecture him, but apparently not. He was sure JC would want a few words with him later anyway. �Hey Chris,� Lance said unsure of how his friend would act towards him now.

�Hey,� Chris said, �can we talk for a sec?�

�Um, sure,� Lance said nervously.

�Ok, I�m not going to lecture you if that�s what you think. I just want to know why the hell you said those things when YOU are gay too�� Chris trailed off. Lance�s eyes widened in surprise.