NotWhatHeSeems6

*Lances Point-Of-View*

After breakfast, Justin followed me back to the room we shared to hang out. Neither of us could decide what to do, so we settled on just staying in the room, watching TV. I was hoping to bring up last night, and how Justin had been so upset, but I didn�t know what to say. I wanted to help him, to make him feel better, but I was a little worried that I wouldn�t be able to.

I finally got up the guts to mention it to him, and I saw him tense up when I did. �Hey, Justin, about last night�� I started.

�Yeah?� he asked unable to look at me.

�You want to talk about why you were so upset?� I asked, taking his chin in my hand and forcing him to look at me.

His eyes filled with tears again, and I cursed myself for even bringing it up.

�You don�t have to tell me, but you might feel better if you do, J. I�m here for you, ok?� I told him, kind of hurt that he felt he couldn�t confide in me.

�Ok,� Justin replied, his voice small and scared.

�You don�t have to be afraid of me,� I whispered, trying to read the look in his eyes. It looked like� but no, that couldn�t be it.

�I know, I just don�t want you to hate me,� Justin admitted.

�Now why would I hate you, Justin? I could never hate you,� I assured him.

�I � me and� Joey and I have been in a relationship for a few months,� he finally confessed, looking down into his lap.

�Really? You and Joey? I never would�ve guessed,� I replied, kind of confused as to why he thought I�d hate him because of that. I already knew that he was gay. �But why would I hate you because of that?�

�Well, that�s not all,� Justin told me.

�Oh, ok,� I replied, waiting for him to say more.

�We�ve been together for that long, but I know that he doesn�t love me, and I don�t really love him either I�ve decided,� Justin explained.

�So why are you still together?� I asked curiously.

�Well, the sex is good,� Justin told me before he could stop himself. �Oh shit, did I just say that aloud?�

�Yeah, but it�s ok,� I assured him, patting his hand.

�That�s not all though. I just don�t want to hurt him, Lance. I�d feel really bad to break it off. And I don�t want to be alone,� Justin admitted finally, tears returning to his eyes.

�Oh, Justin, you�ll find someone, I know you will,� I told him softly, pulling him into my arms.

�I don�t know about that,� he replied sadly.

�Don�t worry about it,� I told him, rubbing his back.

Justin closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. But he knew he had to admit one more thing. �Wait, there�s something else,� Justin said, looking me in the eye.

�Ok,� I replied, waiting for him to speak again.

�This is really hard to do Lance, I don�t want you to hate me,� Justin told me, rubbing his sad eyes.

�I already told you I could never hate you, J, it can�t be that bad,� I assured him, wondering why he was so damn nervous.

�I � I think� I think I love you Lance,� he admitted, completely shocking me.

I was unable to keep my jaw from dropping. �Justin loves me?� I asked myself. �No way, he can�t mean it that way��

�Please say something, Lance. Damn me, I knew I shouldn�t have told you. Now it�s going to ruin everything!� he exclaimed, crying harder. He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing, his body shaking uncontrollably.

�Justin, shhhh, it�s ok. Please calm down, J,� I whispered, pulling him into my lap and rubbing his back comfortingly.

Justin finally calmed down, but still wouldn�t remove his hands from his face.

�Justin, look at me,� I asked softly.

�I, oh Lance, you must hate me now,� he sniffled, hiccuping loudly.

�Baby J, I already told you that I could never hate you,� I told him, my voice soothing. �I was just a little surprised, ok? I didn�t expect you to say that. I�m not really sure what to do now, because I don�t feel the same� yet.�

�Yet?� Justin asked, hiccuping again and wiping his nose.

�Yeah, that�s what I said, J,� I said, running my hand through his curls. �I love you as a friend, but maybe with time� maybe I could fall in love with you.�

�Really?� Justin asked, looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes.

�Yeah, really. I did have a crush on you when the group first got together,� I admitted, blushing slightly.

�You did?� he asked, surprised. His smile grew bigger.

�Yeah, I did. That was back when I was just figuring out that I liked guys. You were my first guy crush,� I told him, smiling as I remembered how in love I had thought I was.

Justin just smiled up at me.

I wasn�t really sure if I should kiss him or not because I didn�t know if he was ready. But he solved that problem for me.

�Kiss me?� he asked shyly, blushing. He looked so damn cute right then.

�Of course,� I replied, leaning down to brush my lips against his. He tasted so sweet, so wonderful.

I pulled back slowly, savoring the kiss. I watched as his eyes fluttered open and he sighed contentedly. �That was�� he started.

�Wonderful,� I finished for him, smiling down at him.

�Yeah,� he agreed, moving a little so he was lying down with his head on my lap. �I love you, Lance,� he whispered before falling asleep.

I sighed as I realized what had just happened. I knew that I could probably be happy with Justin. I would try because he meant so much to me, he was such a great friend.

Then I remembered Josh. Josh, who I�d wanted ever since I got over my crush on Justin. But I knew that now I�d just have to forget about Josh because I would never hurt Justin by cheating on him. �But would it really be cheating?� I asked myself, �we haven�t really said that we�re a couple yet, have we?� I cursed myself for even suggesting hurting Justin like that. I had made a commitment to him, and I wasn�t going to break it.

�Now what am I going to do about Josh tonight?� I wondered to myself, �I�m going to have to tell him that I can�t be with him. But that may be hard with him flirting so much. I need to be strong.� I just hoped that I could do it.