Mchapter8

One week later, Josh was trying to figure out how Leah had talked him into having Lance over for dinner. But he knew it wasn�t hard to say �yes� to Leah, so she probably hadn�t needed to try too hard.

When Josh thought back to that night, he cringed. He hated hospitals. And the two most important women in his life had been in them. Only one had come out alive. He knew he should be thankful that Leah was ok, and he was, but he couldn�t stop thinking about what would�ve happened had Lance not gotten there in time.

Going over all the �what ifs� was driving him insane. But he couldn�t stop. The worst was obviously, �what if she hadn�t made it?� Josh knew that he would have been in really bad shape if Leah hadn�t survived. If he didn�t have her, he really had nothing to live for. Joey would�ve been there for him, supported him, but Josh didn�t know if that would be enough under those circumstances.

He realized that he was crying when he looked down and saw that his shirt was wet. He sniffled, wondering why he couldn�t stop worrying about Leah. He looked up when he heard a noise from the other side of the room. Leah entered the kitchen and immediately went to her father�s side.

�Oh my gosh, dad, what�s wrong?� she asked. She couldn�t remember *ever* seeing her father cry.

�I-it�s nothing, Leah,� Josh answered, still sniffling.

�It�s not nothing, dad. In all of the seventeen years I�ve had with you, I don�t think I�ve ever seen you cry� not even when we talk about mom or go visit her grave. Please talk to me, daddy,� Leah pleaded with Josh.

That made Josh break. He burst into more tears, sobbing as Leah hugged him tightly. She rubbed his back until he was calm, and then continued to hold him. She wasn�t sure what to do.

Josh was finally able to speak. �I�m so sorry, Leah. I�m just so� I don�t even know what I am,� Josh said, wiping his eyes with his hands and then blowing his nose.

�It�s ok, I promise,� Leah started, squeezing his hand, �do you want to talk about it?�

�I think I�m ok now. We�ll talk about it later, ok? We�ve got a dinner to plan,� he reminded her.

�That we do,� she responded, pulling him to the refrigerator to see what they could find to have for dinner. She was very worried about her father, but she knew he�d talk when he was ready. He told her everything, right?

****

Justin loved being pampered. And that�s what his parents were doing now. They were fluffing his pillow, getting him more water, and going to the store to get him whatever he wanted.

At least their pampering and fussing took his mind off of the night one week ago, if only for a little while. He felt so bad that he hadn�t been able to help Leah. He knew that there was nothing he could�ve done, but that didn�t stop him from feeling bad about it.

When he�d woken up in the hospital, he�d been confused. Then scared. Then he�d remembered everything. Then his head had hurt like hell. Those assholes had give him a concussion. �At least they didn�t kill me, or hurt Leah too bad,� he thought to himself.

Josh had visited him a few times while he�d been in the hospital, even when Leah had gone home. Justin decided that he really liked Josh. Josh had also come, with Leah, to visit him at home. Josh was a really cool guy, for a parent.

That�s why Justin was looking forward to the dinner at Leah�s house that night. It was a �thank you� dinner for Lance. Justin was happy that his parents would finally let him leave the house, and he was looking forward to spending the evening with Leah, Josh, probably Joey, and Lance. He hummed to himself as he jumped into the shower.

****

Lance sighed. He�d tried on four different outfits already. And he couldn�t decide which one to wear. He didn�t know whether to dress casual or dressy.

But he had a bigger problem. His hands were shaking, he couldn�t believe that he was nervous.

�It�s just a dinner with Leah, Josh, and Justin. They want to thank me for saving them,� Lance told himself. But he knew that wasn�t the real reason he was going over. Leah had told him that Josh was attracted to him. And he was definitely attracted to Josh. No problem right?

Um, wrong. Neither Josh nor Lance had admitted their attraction. They had just met a week earlier and hadn�t talked since. Leah had been the one to call him with the date and time of the dinner.

Lance was not only afraid to admit his attraction to Josh, but he was also afraid to be rejected. He�d never been a popular boy in school, and so many people had rejected him. He couldn�t even count them all. And that made him very insecure. He just hoped that Josh would bring it up first so that he wouldn�t have to worry about rejection any more.

****

Josh and Leah had spent all day preparing dinner for that night. Now Josh was soaking in the bathtub. He was exhausted and the warm water made him feel so much better. He also felt better because he�d talked to Leah the whole time they�d cooked. They talked about her life and his. They�d shared memories, laughing over ones that they�d experienced together. Josh had had so much fun spending time with Leah, and found himself wishing he spend more time with her as a child. He promised himself to talk to her about spending more time together.

Now he had a dinner to worry about. He hoped it came out well. He wanted so badly to impress Lance, but didn�t quite know why.

He got out of the bathtub, dried off, wrapped a towel around his waist, and walked into the master bedroom. Christi had picked out everything. He thought of her, realizing that he had planned to go to Christi�s grave to say goodbye. But that had been before Leah had been almost� raped. Josh hated even think the word. He resolved that he would go the next day, bringing flowers to Christi�s grave to say goodbye.

But now he had to worry about Lance. He pulled on his favorite pants and a dark blue shirt as he wondered what would happen later that night.

Josh wondered if Lance really was interested. And he found himself hoping that he was. He was tired of being lonely.