Mchapter16

Josh whistled as he headed downstairs and into the kitchen to grab his wallet and keys. He saw Justin in the living room, watching TV, on his way there.

�Hey, where�s Leah?� he asked curiously.

�She�s in the shower,� Justin replied, turning to look at Josh.

�Ok. Do you two know what you�re going to do today?� Josh questioned with a smile.

�Sort of. We�re going to go out to lunch and then decide from there,� Justin explained.

�All right. Have Leah call here and leave a message if you aren�t going to be coming home after lunch so I know where you are,� Josh told Justin.

�Ok,� Justin agreed. �Have fun with Lance.�

�Thanks, I will,� Josh replied, turning to walk into the kitchen as he began to whistle again. He grabbed his keys and wallet off the counter and then headed out to his car.

****

Lance sat in his favorite chair in the living room of his small apartment, waiting for Josh to come pick him up. He looked at the clock and noticed that Josh wouldn�t be there for ten more minutes. He sighed, wondering how their date would go. At least he assumed that it was a date. He just hoped that Josh was thinking the same thing.

He smiled when he heard a knock at his door. He�s been a little nervous to have Josh pick him up because his apartment wasn�t very nice, and it was nothing like Josh�s house. He didn�t want Josh to stop liking him because he was poor. But he didn�t think Josh was like that.

He opened the door and his smile broadened when he saw Josh standing on the other side with a rose in his hand.

�Hey Lance,� Josh said cheerfully, extending the rose out to hand it to Lance.

Lance accepted it carefully before saying, �hey Josh. Thanks for the flower. Come on in.�

�You�re welcome,� Josh replied with a sweet smile as he stepped into the apartment. �I figured that if you were going to be my date, I should treat you right.�

Lance sighed with relief inside when Josh said �date.� So he now knew that Josh felt the same way about their lunch that day. �You look nice,� Lance said as he noticed Josh�s tight-fitting blue shit and tan pants. �The shirt makes your eyes even bluer.�

�Thanks. You look good too,� Josh responded, returning the compliment.

�Thanks. So do you want to go now?� Lance asked, wanting to leave his home. He was starting to get embarrassed.

�What? No tour?� Josh joked, his eyes sparkling.

�Oh. Well, yeah, I guess you can have a tour. It�s nothing special. It�s really small,� Lance said, making many excuses and feeling himself start to blush.

�Hey,� Josh started, �Lance, what�s wrong?�

�It�s just that � well, you have this gorgeous house and all I have is this ugly little apartment,� Lance replied, blushing harder.

�No, it�s no ugly Lance. It�s special. It�s yours. I love it. And I don�t care how big your home is. That doesn�t matter to me at all,� Josh responded, moving to stand in front of Lance. He cupped Lance�s face in his hands and stared into Lance�s eyes.

�I�m sor-� Lance started, but Josh interrupted him.

�Don�t apologize Lance, it�s ok. I just wanted you to know that. I don�t want you to be uncomfortable, all right?� Josh spoke softly.

�Yeah,� Lance agreed, wiping unshed tears from his eyes.

�Are you ok now?� Josh asked.

�Yeah,� Lance whispered.

�Good,� Josh said with a sweet smile. �Now I�m going to kiss you and then you can give me a tour of your house.�

Lance smiled as Josh leaned forward and their lips connected. His sighed into the kiss. Josh always knew how to make him feel better, how to feel more comfortable. That was one of the many things that he liked about Josh.

Josh pulled away with a small smile before saying, �so, how about that tour?�

�Ok,� Lance replied, reaching for Josh�s hand and leading him into the living room, the kitchen, his study, and his bedroom. Josh, knowing that Lance was insecure about the size and quality of his apartment, pointed out certain things that he liked. He knew that that had been a good idea when he saw the sparkle of pride enter Lance�s eyes for a few seconds.

They left the apartment soon after that, and got into Josh�s car. On the ride to lunch, Lance and Josh were pretty quiet, neither knowing what to say. They were both a little nervous because it was their first real date. They were also nervous about spilling their life stories to each other. Lance was ashamed of his, and, well, Josh was too, in a way. He was a little embarrassed that it had taken him so long to get over Christi, and that he hadn�t been with someone for seventeen years.

The drive was fairly short, and Josh smiled as he pulled up at the small caf�. It was where he took Christi on their first date. He figured that if he was going to start over, he might as well do it in the same place. He remembered back to the night that he�d brought Christi and smiled. They�d had such a good time, just talking about their lives and telling the other about themselves. He smiled even bigger when he realized that that was just what he and Lance were about to do.

�Hey, what are you so happy about?� Lance joked, laughing at Josh�s happy expression.

�Oh, I�ll tell you when I�m telling you everything else,� Josh assured him as he stepped out of the car.

�Spears� Caf�?� Lance questioned, �I�ve never heard of it.�

�Really?� Josh asked, surprised, �well, it�s more like a deli, but it�s wonderful. Don�t ask my why they called it a caf�; maybe they thought it sounded better. Anyway, you�ll love it, I promise.� They entered the caf� together and sat at a booth near the back.

�This is a nice place,� Lance commented once they were seated.

�Yeah,� Josh agreed, smiling at the waitress that had come up to their table.

�What can I get for ya�ll?� a perky blonde asked them. Her nametag read �Britney.� They both ordered their food, Josh telling Lance which ones were the best choices. Britney smiled and winked at Lance before leaving the table.

�Did you see that?� Josh questioned.

�See what?� Lance asked, confused.

�She just winked at you! She was flirting!� Josh exclaimed, laughing.

�Hey, why is that funny?� Lance asked, not understanding why Josh was laughing so hard.

�Well, it�s kind of like d�j� vu for me because this same thing happened last time I came here,� Josh replied, still smiling.

�Huh?� Lance said, still not getting it.

�I guess I might as well start my life story now,� Josh told him. Then he explained about Christi. �She was my first real girlfriend, and this is where I took her on our first date. It�s so weird because we had a male waiter and he was hitting on her. I thought it was funny then, and she was really embarrassed, but now it�s just weird that it happened twice.�

�Oh, I get it. I guess that it kinda funny,� Lance agreed, chuckling.

�So, you�re going to have to disappoint that poor girl,� Josh said.

�Oh yeah,� Lance realized.

�Want to do it the fun way?� Josh asked, a sneaky grin on his face.

�Uh oh. What are you planning, Josh?� Lance questioned after seeing Josh�s grin.

�Oh nothing. We�re just going to play with her a little,� Josh replied before laughing.

�You�re evil, you know that?� Lance asked, laughing along with Josh.

�Oh yes, yes I do,� Josh responded. He saw Britney heading over to their table with their drinks so he decided to put his plan into action. He leaned over the table to his head was right next to Lance�s and proceeded to whisper something into Lance�s ear. Lance blushed and the laughed. Britney gave Lance a confused look as she set their drinks down on the table.

�Can I get you anything else?� she asked, looking right at Lance.

�Yeah,� Josh replied, speaking up, �can I get some water too?�

�Sure. And you, sir?� she asked, looking back over at Lance.

�No thanks,� Lance responded, turning away from Britney before she even had a chance to say another word. She pouted before stalking away from the table.

Josh smiled as he watched Britney stomp away. �That was fun,� he commented, grabbing Lance�s hand from under the table. Lance smiled at the gesture and squeezed Josh�s hand in response. They continued to hold hands as Josh told Lance more about his life.

�So for two or three years after Christi�s death I was totally useless. I couldn�t even stand to leave the house. All I ever did was eat, sleep, shower, and watch TV. Well, I also had to take care of Leah, but my mom came over a lot to help me. She saved me. I never would�ve been able to do it alone. And then there was Joey, who was also a big help. He would come over every day, trying to convince me to go out to a club with him. I always said no, so he would just stay over late and watch movies with me,� Josh explained. Lance said there, listening to everything Josh was saying.

When Josh finished talking about Christi, all Lance could say was, �wow.�

�Yeah, she was an amazing person. But I did something yesterday that should help us out,� Josh told him.

�Oh? What�s that?� Lance asked, curious.

�Well, I went to her grave and said goodbye. I needed some closure, and I figured that it wouldn�t be fair to you if I was still hung up on her. Especially after all this time,� Josh explained.

Lance nodded. �You�ve been through so much. My story seems so lame now,� he said, looking down into his lap.�

�No, don�t say that. Just because I�ve been through a lot it doesn�t mean that what you�ve been through doesn�t matter. Tell me,� Josh replied, giving Lance a little smile. He let go of Lance�s hand and reached across the table to hold his other one where everyone could see them.

�What are you doing?� Lance questioned, already worrying about people seeing them together.

�Holding your hand Lance. Is that wrong?� Josh asked, giving Lance a curious look.

�Well, no, but. I just don�t know Josh. Maybe I should tell you my story now. Maybe then you�ll understand a little better,� Lance told him.

�Ok,� Josh agreed, frowning a little as he slipped his hand away from Lance�s.

�Well, I figured out that I was gay way back in high school. I didn�t really tell anyone until my junior year, when I met this guy. He was amazing. We became friends really quickly, and then we became more than friends. One day, about a month into the relationship, I got a message on my answering machine saying that we were over. Of course, my mother and father heard it and figured out that I was gay. They told me that they didn�t want to see me, so I had to go over to my grandmother�s house. I lived with her for the rest of my high school years. The day after my best friend broke up with me, there were rumors all over the school about me. Some of them were really bad, but basically, everyone found out I was gay,� Lance told Josh, stopping when he felt tears prick at his eyes.

�You don�t have to do this right now, Lance,� Josh assured him, reaching over to squeeze his hand and then moving it away again.

�No, I need to do this,� Lance argued, continuing once he�s calmed down a little and the tears were no longer threatening to spill over. �To make a long story short, they all teased me and it was too much. I dropped out my senior year. I just couldn�t take it anymore. I met another guy and feel in love really quickly. He had an apartment, a really nice one, and I moved in with him. After about a week, I found out that he was abusive. Mostly verbal, but he did hit me a few times. Thankfully I was smart enough to get out of the relationship before it got too bad. I moved back in with my grandmother and lived there until just recently when I found the apartment,� Lance said, finishing his story with a sigh.

�Oh, Lance, how can you say that your story is lame? I can�t believe anyone would do that to you. You know I�d never hurt you, right?� Josh asked, concerned.

�Of course, Josh, I trust you,� Lance replied, �it�s just that I�m still really self-conscious about people finding out I�m gay. I guess it�s because of the reactions that my parents, friends, and, well, the entire school, had.�

�Yeah, that�s understandable. I don�t want to push you. Just let me know when you feel uncomfortable,� Josh responded.

�I think I�ll be ok,� Lance told him, smiling before reaching his hand over to grab Josh�s. Josh looked surprised, but smiled back before he noticed Britney coming their way. He went to let go of Lance�s hand, worried that Lance would be embarrassed or something, but Lance held on tight.

�Here are your orders,� Britney said, placing their lunch down in front of them. She gave them a funny look when she saw that they were holding hands.

�Yeah, we�re a couple,� Lance said, answering her questioning look, �do you have a problem with that?�

�Uh� no,� Britney replied, shaking her head as she backed slowly away from the table. She finally turned around and walked away.

Josh laughed, looking over at Lance. �Nice job,� he congratulated Lance.

�Why thank you,� Lance replied, giving Josh�s hand a squeeze. He smiled, realizing that he�s just admitted he was gay to someone purposely and he didn�t feel bad at all. In fact, he felt quite good.