| Selfish |
| Josh led Lance to the bed and sat him down at the top and he sat at the bottom, "Talk Lance." Lance took a deep breath eyes down unable to meet Jc's eyes, "I messed up and hurt you, a thing I promised myself I'd never do. I-I am very jealous of Justin." Jc studied Lance, he looked so sad, "Why? I don't think I gave you any reason to doubt me." "You, he, didn't, first love, I can't, don't know how to compete with that." Josh reached across the bed and hooked a finger under Lance's chin and lifting his gaze to meet his, "Why did you think you had to compete with Justin?" Lance lips began to tremble as he looked into those beatiful blue eyes and he swallowed, "He was your first love," Lance caught Jc rolling his eyes, "I know it's a shitty excuse but you are my first love..." "What?" Lance looked up at Jc in surprises at the interruption, "What?" Jc's breathing had sped up, "I'm," Jc swallowed, "I'm your first love?" Lance smiled shyly and a faint blush covered his cheeks, "From the first moment I saw you I fell in love with you." Josh bit his lip, "If you loved me since the first time you met me why did it take us 6 years to get together." "You were perfect and I was too shy to approach you then when I finally got the courage you told us you were with...Justin." Josh smiled, "We'll discuss that later. Why do you feel, well, threatened by Justin." "Well besides the fact he was your first love the first time I heard 'Girlfriend' and 'Gone' I knew he wanted you back," Lance rolled his eyes, "Ok I THOUGHT I knew he wanted you back." "Alright I'll give you 'Gone' that was written about me but 'Girlfriend'?" Lance swallowed, "Listen to the lyrics JC," Lance sang softly, "Ever since I saw your face, nothing in my life has been the same, I walk around just saying your name, without you my world would end yeah, I looked around this whole damn place and everything says you were meant to be, my boyfriend." "Lance that could be about anyone, even if you didn't change the sex." Lance snorted, "Yeah how about this, " Lance began singing again, "Does he know what you feel, are you sure that it's real, does he ease your mind, or does he break your stride, did you know that love could be a shield..." Josh sighed, "Ok Lance so maybe, MAYBE 'Girlfrind' is supposed to be 'BOYfriend', why do you think I would leave you for him?" "Because I made you miserable." Lance whispered. "Only when you were acting like a jealous idiot." Josh smiled despite his words, "Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" Lance looked long and hard into Josh's eyes hoping to show his emotions in his eyes as Josh does and he whispered, "Yes." Lance scooted closer to Josh and brought his trembling fingers to Josh's cheeks and looking into those blue, blue eyes he began to sing, his voice trembling with emotion: "I just don't understand Why your running from a good man baby Why you wanna turn you back on love Why've you already given up See I know you've been hurt before But I swear I'll give you so much more I swear I'll never let you down 'Cause I swear it's you that I adore And I can't help myself babe 'Cause I think about you constantly And my heart get's no rest over you" Josh's eyes filled with tears as he heard his song sang back to him, he wanted to tell Lance more than anything, that this was his song he wrote it for him, but he couldn't speak if he tried so he just sat and watched Lance sing with more passion then he had ever seen before. "You can call me selfish But all I want is your love And you can call me hopeless, baby 'Cause I'm hopelessly in love You can call me unperfect but whose perfect Tell me what do I gotta do To prove that I'm the only one for you So what's wrong with being selfish" Josh looked deeply into his love's eyes and began singing his verse with Lance as tears began to stream down their faces: "I'll be taking up your time 'Til the day I make you realize That for you their could be no one else I've just gotta have you for myself Baby I would take good care of you No matter what is your going through I'll be their for you when your in need Baby believe in me 'Cause your love is a crime, hey yeah Then punish me I would die for you 'Cause I don't want to live without you What can I do You can call me selfish But all I want is your love And you can call me hopeless, baby 'Cause I'm hopelessly in love You can call me unperfect but whose perfect Tell what do I gotta do To prove that I'm the only one for you" Lance wrapped his arms around Josh's neck and layed his cheek against Josh's and sang with all the love he feels for Josh: "Why do you keep us apart Why won't you give up your heart You know that were meant to be together" Josh held on tightly to Lance, feeling the same emotions as when he first wrote this song: "Why do you push me away All that I want is to give you love Forever and ever and ever" Lance pulled back and sang staring into Josh's eyes praying that Josh is finally his and has forgiven him for being selfish: "You can call me selfish But all I want is your love You can call me hopeless, hopeless Because I'm hopelessly in love You can call me unperfect but whose perfect Tell me what do I gotta do To prove that I'm the only one for you Selfishly I'm in love with you 'Cause I searched my soul and know that it's you Selfishly I'm in love with you 'Cause I searched my soul and know that it's you Selfishly I'm in love with you 'Cause I searched my soul and know that it's you To prove that I'm the only one for you So what's wrong with being selfish, selfish, selfish So what's wrong with being selfish, yeah" Josh and Lance clung on to eachother afraid to let go, afraid they would lose the other half of their soul. "J-Josh?" Lance asked his voice still choked with tears. "Yeah." Josh's voice was as soft as silk causing Lance to smile, he missed it. "Y-you wrote that for me, didn't you?" Lance asked his heart swelling at the thought that Josh wrote a peice of heaven for him but his heart also broke at the thought of Josh hurting because 'all he wants is my love'. Josh laughed, "Yeah I did baby, quite a few actually." Lance's heart skipped a beat and timidly said afraid to hope, "Baby?" Lance felt Josh smile, "Yeeah James Lance I forgive you." Lance pulled back to looked in those beautiful eyes that he loved, "Yeah?" Josh brushed his fingertips against Lance's cheek, "Yeah. I love you James but it will take a little while for me to trust you with my heart again." Lance breathed a sigh of relief, "I can more than live with that. I love you so much darlin' and I promise I will never take you for granted again." Josh leaned in and covered Lance's lips with his own, sighing as he finally got to love the man he was meant to be with. Lance whimpered as Josh's pouty lips kissed his, finally feeling his soulmate next to him again after a week of hell was...amazing. Josh pulled back and kissed Lance's nose, his cheeks, his eyebrows, his forehead and each tightly shut eyelid before whispering, "I love you." and taking Lance's lips in a sweet kiss of love and passion. Lance pulled back tears in his eyes, "My heart get's no rest over you." Josh smiled, "So what's wrong with being selfish." Lance grinned then he remembered what Josh said, "Wait! You said you wrote a few songs about me, which ones?" Josh blushed, "'Selfish' obviously and 'The Two Of Us' and lots of others that never made the album and some that no one besides me has ever seen." Lance smiled, "Darlin'..." Josh kissed Lance sweetly, "What can I say, you're my inspiration." Lance blushed and he swore his heart burst from his love for Josh, "I love you so much." Josh just smiled and asked, "Are you gonna start treating Justin better? Now you know there's nothing going on." Lance closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Yeah...I'll try." Lance hesitated then asked, "Did you tell Justin about what happened because he's been glaring at me all week?" Josh giggled, "Yeah he hasn't left my side all week. You know we never told Joe or Chris that we broke up so they thought we were still together." Lance held Josh's hand over his heart, "Well we are now. That's what matters; you and me." Josh smiled and tugged on Lance's hand, "Come on baby let's go to sleep." Lance smiled as he layed down and sighed happily as Josh spooned up behind him holding him close to his body. Josh buried his face into Lance's hair and breathed deeply, savoring the feel of Lance in his arms after a week of being without his love. When Lance was on the edge of sleep his whispered, "I love you Josh. What's wrong with being selfish?" Josh hugged him closer, "Nothing baby, nothing." And they fell asleep cradled together, happy they were with each other; where they belonged, and they were never gonna take the other for granted again. Never. It was just the two of them. Forever. |
| Chapter 2 |