And live for a little while without
That longing
I'd like to like my own skin
Feel my own power
But it's not meant to be
I'm intended to struggle with the pain
Fend off the blows
Love the cruelty of the world
And without you
Always loving you
You've been a shadow my whole life
A ghost I've not yet seen
Whispering to me
Calling to me
Telling me what I haven't yet heard
And yet there you are
All of a sudden
An apparition before me
Coaxing my spirit out
Calming it and calming me
Making me feel whole
Wondering if it comes from within
Or without
Without I feel fine
Despite knowing you'll never truly be mine
Because you're in the world
And for a minute
I got to touch you
And see you
And taste you
And feel your blood in my veins
Your lips sweetly smiling
The acceptance of your soul
Of something I can never accept
And my body yearns for your voice
Aches for your affection
Dies for your love
But stays without
You've boxed up your beautiful heart
Packed it away from me
I can only share small pieces
Fragments of the love
That I've searched for my entire life
That eludes me
But only when not in your presence
Because when I was inside
My mind was at rest
And my spirit was free
Without judgement
Without fear
Without pain
Without you.
