| Baby - I've written this every day since our last fight and each time I say something different. I cannot express to you the remorse that I feel for the way that I've treated you. Though, sadly, so much of that is self-interest, and wasn't that always the problem? I just know that something's gone when you look at me...when you touch me...you are not the same person that I kissed goodbye every morning for months. You don't reach for me as much - you don't crave me - the warmth is so much cooler now. I've hurt you and I fear that it's beyond repair. I look back and I see how true your offer of love was...and I know that you are offering it still...but the reservation that's in you now that wasn't there before - it breaks my heart. Not just because of me, baby, but because of what I've done to you. You were so open before - so willing to love me - I've shut you down. You deserve to be with someone that you don't have to question. Can I still be her? And though my insides are screaming at me to get reassurance from you that you still love me as much as before and that you haven't lost interest in me or think me different than the person with whom you fell in love...I'm trying really hard not to ask for it. It creeps out a little, I know, but I'm trying. Because the truth is that I want to be with you..and I can be..and that is independent of you reassuring me of your love. I don't need to know that you love me to want to be with you - I want to be with you anyway. I love you. *Juju |