| Ok, let me tell you a little story. One day I went to west county mall with two of my pals, $$$$ and the Buck. well, I saw this dummy training thing @ the local sports store, and I was like, Hey... I got an idea... JUFUS TEACHES SELF DEFENSE!!!!! |
| Yes. thats right fool. I can teach you self defense, the dirty way (the only way that works). You must follow 4 simple rules, but once you heed to these rules, its all cake. |
| 1. Start off dirty. |
| To get the upper edge on your attacker, you must catch him off guard. If you have to resort to cheap shots to do this, then damnit, use cheap shots. |
| 2. Lose your temper. Unleash the anger. |
| If you want to win tons of fights, just like me, you must release the hate inside. Don't hold back. If you have to see blood to quell your anger, well then, damnit...DRAW SOME BLOOD!!!!! |
| 3. Use your knees and elbows, damn it. |
| My god man. Anybody knows the secret to a good fight lies not in the hands or the feet, but in the joints. Choose wisely. |
| 4. Fatality!!!!!! |
| Use your finisher. Whether it be the Flying Headbutt Eljufus, or some other move thats not as cool as the F.H.E., make sure it finishes your enemies, and finishes them for good. |
| In coclusion, there are a small set of rules to abide by if you want to be able to beat ass like Jufus and $$$$, but you too, my friend, can hit the big time. |
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| Before I learned self defense El Jufus. |
| After I learned self-defense El Jufus. |
| I created this story in a very short amount of time, on the date of 10.27.03. |
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