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| Real Name: Matty Tommy Libera Jr. |
| Nicknames: Mahktr, Hot Stuff |
| Age, Birthdate: 20, August 21st, 1984 |
| Mode of Transportation: 1999 Mercury Cougar w/ 2.5L V6 Duratech engine |
| Hobbies: Joe on Tuesdays, Holly the rest of the week. |
| Significant Other: Holly, the best glassCOCK of the lot. |
| Favorite sexual position: The one where I'm swinging from the chandaleer |
| Job: Customer Service Specialist at Wal-Mart |
| Favorite band/singer: 311/Dave Grohl |
| Favorite murder weapon: Lightsaber |
| Favorite movie: Fight Club |
| Advice for youngins': Stay away from big ol' mean Uncle Joey |
| How I came to know Joe: Back in 1999, I found Joe's number in the phonebook when I was looking for a male escort, but by the end of the night, he was paying me. 40 bucks later we became good friends and have remained so to this day. We also reinact the night we met every Tuesday evening. |
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| The "Cou-Gah!" |
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