Musings-Wings

Sometimes...I wish I had wings.
I want to fly away, get away from everything. Soar in a perfect blue sky, with no worries, no problems.
How I long to be free of the shackles I put myself in.
How nice life would be, if all I had to do, was fly, to get away.
Facing all these issues gets more and more tedious as time goes by. All these problems, how did I get all these problems?!
All these confrontations...what did I do wrong?
Last I knew, I was happy, something happened, it all fell away.
I'm stuck to the ground, I can't get away.
If only...
I could fly.
All these problems, won't let me go, won't release me, they hold me down, and smother me.
I find myself withdrawing...I hate leaving the house, I make excuses not to see some people, because I just cant bear to look them in the face without either slapping them, or worse.
Would I be so down, if I had wings? Or would my heart soar as soon as I floated away on a draft.
Sometimes I dream, that they come up with a way...to attach wings on humans, or that huge snow white wings just sprout from my back...and I can touch the clouds, dance with the sun, see the stars more clearly than ever before.
How many times have I wished that I could just up and leave, go where no one could follow me. Mid-sentence of a lecture, I just flap away. God, how many times have I wished....
Life would be easier, I could go where I want, no worries about money, transportation, sitting next to the screaming baby or the stinky fat guy.
An easy life...that would be great.
My life is so much harder than some people think. A big house, and living off my Dad...this isn't what I want.
I want out in the world, I long to live off of my own. I don't like taking money from my Dad...I want to be able to do for me.
People call me a "Daddy's girl" and say I have things so easy.
It's not true. The things that go around in this goddamned house isn't all peaches and cream.
I'm not a moocher...am I? I don't think so...if I was, I wouldn't be jumping at any work opportunity that opens up. I want to work, it's an escape from here, them, you, everything. A place where I can bury myself, keep myself busy, feel like I'm doing something good.
Ahh...to get another paycheck...to take it to the bank...atms. How I miss them.
I might have a job in Nevada, working for my friend's construction company, I just might take it.
Tell no one where I am going, or when and if I am coming back.
Just disappear, leave everything behind and look forwards to a new and maybe a better life.
There are few things here that are worth staying for, and they grow less and less all the time. People change, I change, the wedge gets larger.
A new life...dare I dream.
Hope springs eternal...maybe one day, someone will give me the wings I so desperately want, need, love.