Botany Bob's Travel Log(arithms)
"A Hoot!"
-Cosmopolitan
Far be it from me to complain (wink, wink), but bad luck always seems to hit hardest in the cradle of civilization.
So there we were, trekking the storied foothills of Samos, when Hergé caught the Streptococcus! As hard as you're laughing now, imagine the uproar in a hotel conference room stocked with nothing but Ouzo-laden spanikopita and Pythagorean disciples. Oh, my stars!
At any rate, our plane took of for Beijing before we knew it, and I was sailing in a junk in the harbor by high noon, drinking tea with the Turkish foreign minister. He gave me a piece of Turkish Delight, which I must admit is the world's most delightful candy! I'm terrible!
My star-studded world tour then led me to Iceland, which believe me, is no misnomer. NEVER BEFORE had my cuticles experienced such a vast degree of frostbite, even tracing back to my boyhood days in Siberia. Leather jacket, anyone? HOOOOO! Oh, somebody report me to the police!
One more news flash before I depart, muchachos. Strap on your berets of comprehension for this one, because it IS a tease! A mustachioed Armenian accosted me in an adjacent gondola as I was floating down the overflowing canals of Venetia, and informed me that he didn't altogether approve of my velvet jacket and velour pantaloons. I replied, "Sweetheart, welcome to the 21st century!" He hissed and rowed off. What else to do? Paging the Justice League, come in Superman! We are on red alert!
The time to depart is upon me, compadres, I'm off to trek the Himalayas. I've hired a really tough Sherpa to carry me on his shoulders, so I don't irritate the gods or my infamous calloused bunions! If you want to get me a going away present, I could use some Tibetan Prayer Flags to adorn my sensory deprivation tank, or a pair of cuttlefish moccasins. OOH, they are as hot as the sun! HISS! Ta ta!