Disclaimer: I don�t own AFI. This is not real. This never happened. This will NEVER happen, if I had my way with the universe. . . which I do.
The Story:
Hunter twitched. His leg kicked outward at the same time his arm punched above his head, banging his fingers against the wall.
As pain consumed first his hand then his arm, Hunter groaned and curled into a ball, cradling his injured limb to him. Several minutes later and he woke. He tried blinking but found that difficult so sat up blindly and rubbed both eyes with his palms.
The first direction he looked was the corner. It was empty. He frowned, unable to remember if there had been anything there or not. It came to him finally. No, there had been nothing there in the first place. So why did he look there? It was the only clean space in their room. He had no idea WHY it was clean, but was glad it was there in any case.
Hunter turned his attention next to Jade, snoring faintly as he lay tangled in his blue sheets. There was a socked foot poking out from one end and a hand hanging over the edge of the bed. The only way he knew it was Jade was the shock of bleached hair tousled with short brown hair, peeking out of the folds of the sheet. Hunter gave a yawn that tested the muscles of his jaw to their limits and scratched his side. He smacked his mouth a few times and peered about disinterestedly.
A good five minutes later and conscious thought finally came to Hunter�s mind as he awoke fully. He realized he was still sitting in bed, watching Jade snore in the bed across from his own. He realized that although he still wore the jeans from the night before and not his usual boxers, he was quite comfortable nonetheless. He also realized he badly needed to relieve himself.
With a hurtful moan, Hunter forced his aching body to stand and carefully make his way through the mess to the door of his and Jade�s room. Last night�s party had been spectacular. It had been their best in. . . like. . . a week! Hunter grinned goofily as the faint image of him making out with a buxom brunette against the washing machine downstairs floated into his thoughts. What happened before and after that was beyond him, so he figured that had been an EXCELLENT party after all.
He reached the hall finally and walked over to the restroom. The light was on, he could see that from the crack underneath the door, and he also heard the fan on. Meant someone was taking dump.
Hunter rapped twice on the door. He didn�t get a response, but wasn�t expecting one as he walked on down the hallway. He figured if it was him in there taking a dump this early in the morning, he wouldn�t want anyone hanging around outside the door, either.
Trash littered the hall just as it covered the floor of his room. Hunter looked to his left and saw the broken pieces of a broom. A memory flashed in his mind. This one was of Adam, so snockered his eyes were glazed and his nose a bright red. But he was laughing wildly as he rode the unbroken broom like an imaginary horse about the house, topless.
Hunter smirked. So where was tall, pale and gawky? Passed out on the lawn again, he bet. Maybe Davey was out there with him.
Hunter grunted and stopped, hand on the stair banister. He winced, hand going to his head. As he had thought of Davey�s name, an image of Davey broke all his thoughts to pieces and seared across his mind.
In it, Davey had his hair pinned back, shirt off, also. In his hand, he held a glass bottle of fruit juice. He was laughing, mouth going wide with each short gust of expelled breath, eyes squeezing shut in glee.
But as happy as this picture of Davey was, it was hurting Hunter like no end. His own eyes squeezed shut and his breathe was shaky. A minute passed and the feeling vanished as fast as it had come.
Hunter blinked rapidly and looked around him slowly. It must have just been an after effect from all the drinking the night before. Besides, who wouldn�t have the hangover from hell after a great party like that?
Hunter shuffled down to the living space on the first floor, making his way to the kitchen. He spotted the remains of two chairs, his and Jade�s skateboards and an unfamiliar blue sofa, turned upside down.
�What the fuck?� Hunter looked at the flower print on the sofa, then shook his head. That was SOME party.
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Jade moaned a name with both longing and passion. What that name was, he soon forgot as he rolled over onto his back. He knew before he was fully awake that he was alone in his bed. Well, that was just all right then, wasn�t it? He didn�t remember there being anyone he invited to his bed last night, so he had nothing to worry about.
So what name was he muttering so lovingly? Who had he been dreaming about with such. . . desire? He kept his eyes closed, not willing to disburse the last lingering remnants of his dreams by letting in the light. Feeling slowly leaked through his body and he wondered what the hell was hurting him so badly.
Jade groaned and whimpered. Not able to take it any longer, he sat up and felt his back. Yeah, there was a bruise there. But from what? By chance he peeked his eyes open and looked at the bed. Shit. He�d been sleeping on a friggin� broken fender.
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked back down. Shit, shit, fuck! That was his baby, his Cherry Red fender. FUCK! How the hell did THAT get broken?? He could have sworn he put it in the closet before the party had actually kicked off.
Jade frowned. The party. . . No, he couldn�t remember the party all too well. Hell, he couldn�t remember a lot from the night before. Why the hell not? He wasn�t a drinker. He never did drugs. . . what the hell was going on?
�Hunter.� Jade said, not bothering to look and see if he was there. �Hunter? You awake, man? Mind telling me what the fuck happened last n�� Jade cut off seeing Hunter gone.
�What the hell?� Jade asked himself, throwing the tangle of sheets and blankets off of him. �Hunter�s never out of bed before me! Where the hell did he sleep last night?� He stood and stretched, wincing before he even began raising his arms. �Hell!!!� He moaned painfully. He hurt all over, but the focus was mainly on his right arm.
Jade whimpered and pulled his arm to him. He flexed it slowly this way and that, although not very far. He tried making a fist but his hand disobeyed him. �Fuck.� he whispered, tears going to his eyes from the pain. �Fuck. Maybe my body still needs to wake up. Yeah, that�s it. I still need to wake up.� he released his arm and realized something. �I need to piss.� he said softly, walking out of the room.
He came to the restroom door and heard the fan on before he looked down to see the light on also. He whined and pounded on the door. �Come on, fucker! There�s other people need to piss in this house, too!� there was no answer. Jade shifted feet and touched his arm again. He tried flexing again. It moved more this time but it was still hurting like a mother fucker.
�Hunt-er!� Jade called again as he slapped his open hand against the door. �Come on, you shit for brained, bleach-obsessed monkey bastard! Open up! I don�t care if I have to piss in the bathtub! I�m not pissing outside again!� he slammed his hand on the door a few more times, not hearing Hunter walk up beside him.
�He come out yet?� Hunter asked.
�No, but that fucker�s gonna get a piece of my mind,� Jade said absently, then froze. He looked at Hunter. �Dammit! I thought YOU were in there! Fuck, Hunter! Who�s in there then?�
Hunter shrugged. �Dunno. But I need to piss like, a river, man. I�m thinking it�s either Adam or Davey.�
�No shit?� Jade asked sarcastically. �Well, who the fuck would it be?�
Hunter flinched from the snap, frowning. �Hey, what�s your problem, emo-boy? Woke up and realized you weren�t wearing your pink panties again?�
�Oh, no, I�ve got those on.� Jade nodded assuredly, then grit his teeth. �It�s this fucking arm! God dammit! Why the hell does it hurt? And why can�t I make a fist? Feels like it�s fucking broken.�
Hunter frowned. He rubbed his chin a few times, then looked up in surprise. �Shit, Jade! It IS broken! We all saw it! You broke it from the fall!�
Jade stopped beating at the restroom door and looked at Hunter. �What the hell are you talking about? What fall?�
�From last night.� Hunter said simply.
Jade waited, but he didn�t say more. �What the fuck, Hunter?? Are you going to elaborate on that? The fall from last night. Fuck! WHAT fucking FALL FROM LAST NIGHT?�
Hunter�s eyes slanted and his lips twisted in contempt. �What fall? You�re a real shit for brains, aren�t you? Scared the living shit out of us and not even remember doing it? Maybe we should have left you on the lawn. Maybe it would have served you right.�
�Hunter. . .� Jade said dangerously, stepping up to the short man. But Hunter gave him his own warning look. Jade stopped and let Hunter continue.
�It was. . . shit, I don�t know. Cant remember most of what happened. But it was. . . before. . . no, after. . . yeah, after. . . shit, anyway, me, Tim, Adam and that one guy Mike were in the kitchen, watching the younger punks playing craps. But Kim came running in all hysterical and shit. Crying even! Said you were on the roof and they didn�t know how to get you down. So we went out there.�
Slowly, the memory came back to Jade, oh so painfully.
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He was delirious. He felt nothing, only his own heart beating rapidly in his chest. His breathe came out fast, almost a pant. He had nothing on but a pair of faded dickie shorts. They weren�t his. Not his color but dark blue. Someone must have made him put them on. Whatever, off they went!
So he stood in his boxers, staring out across the tops of all the other houses, eyes finding and focusing on the large white moon. Faintly, shouts and hollers came up to him from below. Oh, yeah, he was now on the roof. There was a small crowd forming on the lawn beneath him. He smiled and waved at all the pretty people. There was laughter but it died quickly as he swayed slightly.
He stumbled a little but righted himself. No good doing this the wrong way, no sir! He was Jade Puget, the sex, the man. He could pull this off and be like. . . croissant! Jade broke out in giggles at this insane joke. Heh heh, croissant. . .
A gust of wind rushed over his skin, cold enough to make him break out in goose bumps. But he didn�t. He couldn�t feel a thing. He was so numb, he couldn�t feel the tears running down his face. He looked up at the moon and cried out in joy. He lifted his arms upward to take in the beauty. Oh, this was gorgeous! This was wonderful! This was what it was to actually LIVE! This was the eternal. . . this was the dark canvass of his life suddenly filled with meaningful purpose. . . this was. . . it.
His lips peeled back in a hideous grin that at the time felt right. He kept his arms raised. �I can fly,� he whispered, �I can fly.�
�Jade!� Adam�s voice came to him then, and it was so loud it was almost right behind him. �Jade! What the fuck do you think you�re doing? Get down! Get back! You�re gonna fall!�
But Jade laughed. More tears poured down his face and he laughed. �No, Adam, I won�t. You don�t understand, this time it�s different. It�s different. I can fly. I can fly.� He whispered this again and again as he dove off the roof, not hearing the shouts and screams as the ground rushes up for him.
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�Oh, shit.� Jade moaned, leaning against the wall for support. �Oh, goddam.�
Hunter nodded. �Yeah, that�s what we were thinking, too. We all watched you fall, then bounce and fall again. Shit. That was fucking cool, y�know, if it had been not so painful for you.�
Jade glared at him but didn�t say anything. �Where�s Adam? I might need him to take me to the hospital soon.�
�Urh, I dunno.� Hunter shrugged. �He�s either in there or he�s in his and Davey�s room or something. I dunno.�
Jade looked at the door to the restroom, rebelliously still silent despite his attacks on it. He set his jaw and glanced at Hunter. �So why the hell was I on the freakin� roof, anyway?�
Hunter shrugged, eyes still on the door. �Dunno. Adam �prolly knows, but I was too drunk to remember. I think. . . I think I was with some chick.� he frowned and shook his head as if to clear it.
�Oh yeah?� Jade asked, clearly not interested. �How�d that go out?�
�I dunno.� Hunter said quietly. �I think. . . I think I remember walking into the shed out back with her �cause. . . �cause I think she said something about a blow job.� he scratched his head vigorously. �Damn! Wish I could remember! She was hot, too.�
Jade rolled his eyes and turned to see Adam stagger over to them absently, eyes cast downward. �Adam, shit, you awake?� Hunter asked, snickering at his friend�s staggering.
Adam looked up then, making both of them jump back in shock. �Ugh.� Adam told them. Both eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. He barely looked alive, much of that was due to the fact that he was standing upright.
�Damn!� Jade said. �Adam, you look like shit!�
�Yeah, you okay?� Hunter asked, voice full of worry.
�Shiftenguhken, hhhnnmoooorrennn.� Adam waved a hand at them vaguely.
Jade and Hunter exchanged a curious look. Jade turned back to Adam. �Uhm, mind saying that in English, pirate man?�
Adam tried again but all his words came out as groans and slurs. He too realized this and simply waved at the restroom door. �Oh!� Hunter nodded. �Yeah, I guess Davey�s in there. You�re gonna have to wait. There�s a line ahead of you.�
Adam nodded and moved to lean against the wall beside Jade. Silently, they stood and waited in front of the closed bathroom door. Adam tried unsticking his throat and mouth and actually managed to come out with a guttural, crude speech. �How�s the arm?� he asked Jade.
He sneered. �Broken. Fuck! And my fender, too? Dammit, Adam, what the hell happened? I can�t remember shit!�
Adam groaned and waved his hands about in pain. �Shhh!� he whimpered. �too loud!� he paused a minute or two, then nodded slowly. �Uhn, your punch. You drank it.�
Jade thought back. �Yeah, I drank it.� his eyes grew large. �What? You mean someone put something in it? Shit! Who, Adam? Who the hell put something in my drink?�
Adam smiled then, but it was more of a grimace. �Nnn. . . frgghhhrr. . . . nnnn, Mike. . .� he finally managed.
�Mike?� Jade fumed with anger. �Mike fucking drugged me?� Adam smiled and nodded. �Fuck you, Adam! It�s not funny! I�m fucking in PAIN!! When I see that asshole, that fucking dick-head, I�m gonna cut him a new asshole!�
Adam laughed wheezingly, choking slightly. Hunter walked around Jade to stand next to Adam. �Hey, Ad,� Hunter said, frowning, �you remember that chick I was with last night?�
Adam froze, then grinned broadly. He nodded. �Yyyyeahhh, hee hee hee!� he went off in a series of chuckles. Hunter waited until his friend was calm enough to continue.
�Adam,� Hunter said slowly, �what the hell are you laughing at? Just tell me already!�
Adam wiped at the tears leaking out of his eyes and looked up at Hunter, �Bobbi.� he said, then paused. When Hunter didn�t say anything, he continued. �Bobbi. . . you took her to the shed in back? Bobbi. . . the guy?� at this, Hunter�s jaw dropped and Jade snorted in unbelieving laughter.
�WHAT??� Hunter demanded. �What the. . .?�
Adam nodded. �You came screaming and cursing about her having a. . .� He cut off as Hunter yelled and ranted about.
He remembered. It all came back to him as Adam spoke. The rough kissing. . . the gropes that left him sore. . . The feel of the hair on her, uh, HIS upper lip. . . the final proof when Hunter�s hand did that little trick of his by sliding into the jeans. . . the complete and utter revulsion that ran through his entire body when he felt Bobbi�s �big secret�.
�GOD!! That�s fucking nasty!!� Hunter jumped about in anger. �That�s fucked-up, Adam! How could you let me?? Oh, god,� he clasped the sides of his head and sank to the floor on his knees. �Oh, god, please tell me. . . Adam, please tell me Jessica didn�t hear about it. Please tell me that whore didn�t hear about it? If she knew, she�ll never let it die. . .� his eyes were sad and pleading up at Adam.
�She knows.� Adam grunted out, more awake. He smiled as he saw Hunter bemoaning his fate of tormenting. �She was the one who marched out to the shed and clocked Bobbi one.�
Hunter paused. �Huh? What?�
Adam nodded. �She heard you shouting an� just got all quiet. We were all laughing, but she got pissed as hell. Marched out there and decked him. Knocked him out. Then she gave you more beer and took you upstairs. She get you drunk an� rape you?� Adam asked hopefully. Jade looked curious, also.
Hunter paused, thinking hard. �Naw, she just put me to bed. But why the hell would that hooker be nice to me? It�s not like we�re friends or something.� he paused, then looked up at his two friends. �You think. . . I should . . . I dunno, give her a call?� he gave a shrug.
Adam nodded solemnly. Jade gave a laugh similar to a grunt. �Hell yeah. Man, it�s about time! That bitch has been eyeing you forever! It�s about time you noticed!�
Hunter stood, getting a glint to his eyes. �Aw, but Jade, that won�t leave any time for you and me!�
�Wha-?� Jade began but was cut off when Hunter jumped into his arms and planted a kiss on his mouth. Adam made wheezing chuckles as Jade chased Hunter up and down the hallway, swearing obscenities that made him laugh even more.
At last, as he calmed down, he looked at the restroom door. Fuck. He needed to piss. What the hell was Davey doing in there? He thought he heard the shower go on early in the morning, but he couldn�t remember if anyone had come out or gone in since then. If Davey was in there this long, he must be doing his make-up or his hair. Damn him!
Adam sighed, then stood up straight. He knocked on the bathroom door. No answer. Downstairs, there came a faint crash from Jade and Hunter�s escapades. Adam ignored it and knocked again. Still nothing. He frowned and reached for the knob. It turned and released.
�Fuck,� Adam said, smiling, �we were standing in front of an empty bathroom the entire time.� He let the door swing open. He froze. His eyes went from the mess on the floor to the walls, the sink, the mirror, then finally the bath tub. �Fuck.� he said simply.
Jade finally decided he�d had enough of Hunter�s antics and strolled back up stairs. He saw the restroom door open and Adam standing in the door way. He didn�t put two and two together. �Aw, Adam! I�m next! Don�t go in there before me!� Jade jogged down and was halted by Adam�s arm before he could rush into the restroom. His eyes roamed over the very scene Adam had been the first to see.
�Oh, shit.� Jade�s expression was of disgust. �God, that�s so fucking NASTY!�
�Yeah, it is.� Adam said hatefully. �This. . . is just. . . freakin�. . . great.� he growled and started walking down the hall. �Fuck. I�ll call the Clean-up Crew. This is fucking sick.�
�Yeah, you do that.� Jade nodded, holding the back of his hand up to his mouth in an attempt to be a last barrier in case the bile rose any higher. Hunter passed Adam, noticing clearly his ill temper. He also spotted Jade in front of the open bathroom. He hurried.
�Hey, Jade, what�s� Oh, fucking GOD!� Hunter yelled, finally seeing what the other two had already discussed. �What the hell?� Hunter looked at the mess with dawning horror. �Oh, shit, is that the shower rod?? What the hell?�
�I know.� Jade said quietly. His stomach was settled and he was beginning to see things in a detached sort of way. �This is just the bitch. I hate when shit like this happens. It�s like, the gods have got it in for me. They�re like, �Jade Errol Puget, you are going to be royally screwed up the ass with the largest thing we can find�. And then, they do this. Shit.� He shook his head in disappointment.
Hunter sneered at him in disbelief. �You? You think this is all to do with you? Damn, you�re fucking conceited! Narcissistic bastard! How do you think the rest of us feel? Ever think about that?�
Jade glared at him. �This all happened because of me. Read the papers lately? Look on the internet these last five years? Fuck you, Hunter. Fuck you royally.�
Hunter flipped him off and started walking down the hall. Jade turned to watch him go. �Where are you going?� He asked finally as Hunter reached the stairs.
�The kitchen. I need to piss and that sink�s looking very nice right now.�
�Disgusting.� Jade frowned, making a mental note to have Adam scrub it after Hunter was done. Hell if he�d clean it up. Speaking of messes. . .
Jade looked back at the bathroom, then smiled. He grunted, then chuckled. This turned into a crazed laughter that made him stagger back against the far wall. He turned watery, glaring eyes and a wide, maniacal grin up at the ceiling and flipped the middle finger upward. �Fuck you, Davey!! Fuck YOU!!� Still laughing, Jade swayed back and forth as he walked down the hall and to the stairs.
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Margaret and Steve stepped up to the front door and rang the bell. They wore their blue uniforms equipped with utility belts holding an odd assortment of things and matching blue hats with the Clean-up Crew logo embroidered on the top face. They each carried a black bag with all the necessary equipment needed for a successful cleaning.
�Oh, wait for me!� a voice squealed behind them. They turned and saw the rookie, Ann, stumbled slightly as she hurried over to them carrying her own black bag. She reached them and gave a nervous smile. Steve frowned, making Ann lose her grin and become expressionless as they were.
�For goodness sakes, Ann!� Margaret chided, �straighten the tie! And your hair is coming loose! Tuck it back in!� Ann hurried to do as her superior ordered just before the door cracked open.
Adam looked out and saw three people in blue uniforms standing on the porch. He opened the door wider. �Mr. Carson?� Steve asked.
�Yes, that�s me.� He nodded. He knew they saw his appearance but they were so professional they were overlooking it rather than remarking. He had to admit he liked that.
�Good afternoon, Mr. Carson. We received a call for an immediate clean-up in your household. Might we inquire as to what type it will be?�
Adam nodded and waved them enter. �Come on. You can see for yourselves. It�s upstairs in the bathroom.�
Steve nodded and glanced briefly at Margaret and Ann before stepping in first. Margaret whispered a few warnings to Ann briefly before following, also. Ann nodded her understanding and followed her trainers up the stairs.
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Steve stood in the bathroom and crouched low. He reached over and lifted part of the completely soaked bathtub rug. He let it flop back down with a squish. He sighed. How�d he know this was going to be one of THOSE cases?
He sighed and looked over his shoulder at Margaret. �What do you think?�
She, being conditioned to various and all kinds of cleaning situations, looked over the revolting scene critically and with much attention. She nodded. �I�d say a class D, with wet vac and replacements of certain toiletry items.�
Steve nodded. �Exactly what I was thinking.� He looked around. �Where�s Ann?�
Margaret looked slightly sympathetic. �She�s downstairs. Started to look green a few minutes ago so Mr. Carson took her back downstairs. She�ll be fine. This is pretty big for her first time, Steve. Go easy on her.�
Steve began stretching rubber gloves over his hands. �I know, Margaret. I was, honestly. She�s a good girl. She shouldn�t be forced into Clean-up that fast. Maybe if she had gone with Rodriguez and Johnson?�
Margaret shook her head, already wearing her own gloves and securing her hair underneath a hairnet. �Don�t think that. Come on, Steve, do you think that she�d really learn anything with those two jokers? She�s good where she is. And after this class D, things will get better for her.� She looked around. �Have you seen the body bag?�
�Over by the door way.� Steve said, pointing. �Good thinking. Open it up and we�ll put the body in. No telling how long it�s been here. And with all the blood congealed on the walls, I�d say it was a good thing they left the fan on.� He paused. �You know, I THOUGHT I saw this guy before! You know him, Margaret?�
She looked and shrugged. �Dunno. Who�s he?�
�Davey Havok!� Steve said. He lifted the scarred, pale, lifeless face slightly with both hands. �He�s the lead singer of AFI, I think. Saw them on the MTV awards thing. Watched it with my niece. She was rooting for them. Damn shame what I�m going to have to tell her later. Damn celebrities. Always living life like on the edge of insanity.� He put the corpse�s head back down and began shifting the body into the black body bag Margaret was holding open.
�Oh, well.� She said wistfully. �That�s a rock star for you. At least he died a rockstar death. Wonder if he was hyped on drugs when he did this to himself?�
Steve shrugged. �What does it matter? His body�ll go into the incinerator as soon as we go back. Not much anyone can do now. Just another fallen rock god, right?�
They grunted and went about their clean-up duties, leaving the only one person in the entire house with any real sympathy for the dead singer downstairs, crying tears that fell on her blue uniform and soaked through to the Despair Faction shirt she wore underneath.
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