Sadly, this comic was abandoned due to time constraints and lack of ability; yes, I admit it. I am a stupid fuck.
Under Lawson’s Supervision
Episode 1: The Wife Beater
Ryan: Hey, James, guess what I got today…
James: Where’s Lawson?
Ryan: Standin’ over there…
*Ryan is pointing to an area less than ten feet away*
James: Oh, what’d you get? Herpes?
Ryan: No, I got this bad-ass—
WifeBeater: ‘EY! Where in the hell’s your boss at!? I got myself a God-damn complaint!
*The wife beater is ignored*
James: What were you sayin’?
Ryan: I got this bad-ass fuckin’ scanner the other day…I was thinkin’ we could do some funny shit with this…
James: Like sending naked pictures of ourselves through AIM!
Ryan: Or pictures of fat people or something…
James: How ‘bout we make a comic?
Ryan: OK, th—
WifeBeater: You listen t’me, you God-damn sumbitch!
Lawson: Hey, uh….what’s goin’ on over here?
WifeBeater: I need to talk t’you ‘bout your God-damn useless-ass customer service!
*wife beater points at Ryan*
WifeBeater: This sumbitch has done nuthin’ but sit on his ass every God-DAMN time I come inta this shithole! I want some motherfuckin’ customer service!
Lawson: …uh…lemme get Mr. Biggs on the phone…James, can you come over here an’ show me how to use this thing?
Under Lawson’s Supervision
Episode 2: A Brush With Death
*James is playing with a pen on a stretchy-cord*
James: So, how’s it goin’?
Ryan: Alright…I took the car out last night.
James: That’s fuckin’ cool…where’d you go?
Ryan: I did some donuts in the church field, and I got my mom’s piece of shit 1988 Toyota Camry up to more than 100 miles an hour on that straightaway. It was a blast, but now it makes a fucked up noise, and the driveshaft has trouble staying on…
James: Oh yeah? I took a shit in the auditorium and wiped with the Amer—OH, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
Ryan: What?
James: It’s a motherfucking customer…we’ll finish this…
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James: Thank you, ma’am, have a nice day!
*fat, ugly dog of a woman strides off*
James: Jesus Hell, did you see that fuckin’ thing!? I was afraid to give her God damn change back!
*Lawson shows up from practically nowhere*
Lawson: Uh…what’s goin’ on over here?
James: Hey man, how’s it goin’!? That’s a cool shirt, Aaron.
Aaron: Uh, thanks. Y’all need ta break it up, over here…James, stand on the tape. Ryan, where’re you supposed to be?
Ryan: I’m bagging…
Lawson: Uh…
Ryan: Do you want me to sweep?
Lawson: OK…James…
James: Yeah?
*Lawson leaves*
Under Lawson’s Supervision
Episode 3: The Holdup
Lawson: We need all available baggers to the front, please…
*Lawson leaves, paying no attention to whether or not his order was followed*
*James is standing somewhere off to the side, as Ryan works diligently*
James: Yeah, man…so, I was thinkin’…uh…you and I ought to go over to that guy’s fuckin’ house again and maybe burn a tree down or somethin’…
Ryan: I don’t know, dude, ‘cause that asshole called the cops last time we were there, and he even tried to put something in your ass…was it a firecracker?
James: Broomstick
Ryan: See? That much worse…
James: Yeah, so anyway…--Fuck! It’s Mr. Biggs! Oh, shit…what do I do with this!?
*James pulls out a handgun*
Random soccermom: Oh Jaysus! He’s got a gun!
Ryan: Oh, fuck James…Mr. Biggs is about to call the cops…
James: What the fuck do I do!?
Ryan: Shoot his fuckin’ ass!
James: Oh, fuck! OK!
*James aims the handgun at Mr. Biggs’s face and squeezes the trigger. He misses*
Random customer: Oh, fuck me! We’re all gonna fuckin’ die!!
James: Hey, shut the fuck up, lady!
Mr. Biggs: James, come into the computer room for a minute…
James: (whispers to Ryan) He won’t even take me to his fuckin’ office…lazy motherfucker.