1. Every time you are passed up for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
   
   
2. You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
   
   
3. Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl the Stockboy" display.
   
   
4. Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
   
   
5. The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
   
   
6. Impromtu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
   
   
7. Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with the basketballs again.
   
   
8. Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
   
   
9. Jaws of Life needed to pull your knees out of you chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel.
   
   
10. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was "homemade Gack."
    
    
11. Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming success.
    
    
12. Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I'm on break."

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