1. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
   
   
2. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," Casablanca,") almost inaudibly.
   
   
3. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
   
   
4. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
   
   
5. mush boogers on the windows in occult patterns.
   
   
6. Pray to Azazoth or Zanzinbar or The Boog. Sacrifice something nasty.
   
   
7. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
   
   
8. Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If he/she walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously.
   
   
9. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
   
   
10. Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed . . . do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . . . use this method to fall asleep every night for a month.
    
    
11. Whenever he/she goes to shower, drop whatever you're doing, grab a towel, and go shower too.
    
    
12. Take his/her underwear. Wear it.
    
    
13. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the next day that that one died. Name another one after your roommate. The next day say that it died. Keep this up until they all die.
    
    
14. Eat a bag of marshmellows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whip cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.
    
    
15. If you know that he/she is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat, bald, naked, Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing.
    
    
16. Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me."
    
    
17. When you leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, "I'm watching you."
    
    
18. Invite your roomie to play catch out in the yard. Every time you catch the ball, catch it near your head. Fall to the ground screaming.
    
    
19. Eat jewelry. Accesorize food.
    
    

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