1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
   
   
2. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
   
   
3. Write the words "HELP ME" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
   
   
4. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
   
   
5. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
   
   
6. Honk frequently without motivation.
   
   
7. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
   
   
8. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
   
   
9. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
   
   
10. Stop and collect roadkill.

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