| To this day, I don�t know just exactly when, or how, or even why it occurred, but I�m actually very glad that it did. I guess you could say that I actually met my inner self for the first time. One of the reasons why I�ve always loved the Native American tribes was because of their spiritual beliefs and strong respect for Nature and all of Her children. They believe in totem animals, and that every human being has some sort of spirit watcher. Mine just happens to be a wolf, but she�s a lot more than just a simple guardian. I suppose one way to explain it would be that it�s kind of like having the soul or mind of a wolf trapped in a human body. At times, it�s almost like having two completely separate personalities, and yet we are one and the same person. Like I said in the beginning, I see the world through two different eyes -- that of a wolf, and that of a human being. Right now I�d like to point out that she does have her own name, which is Jessie. She also has her own thoughts and feelings. For example, if I were to compare the two sides, my human side is very quiet and passive, whereas my wolf side is very dominant, a true Alpha female. Both sides are honest and fiercely loyal toward friends, but my wolf side tends to be more protective and possessive of those she considers to be close. Also, I�ve never really been one to go out a lot, like to huge parties and stuff, partially because I�m not too interested, and also because people tend to make me very nervous. If there�s one thing the wolf side of me hates, it�s being around an excessively large group of people and loud noises. Actually, the only downside to the whole sharing your mind with that of a wolf�s is that your view on Humanity as a whole kind of takes a nosedive. The wolf part of me has some pretty negative feelings about the Human race in general, and will basically never forgive them for all of the destruction that�s been done to our planet over the course of many centuries. That is not to say that the wolf hates all people; she just dislikes a lot of them. My human side may know what�s going on in the world around her, but the wolf has a very hard time comprehending the ways of human life. This is why she�s taken to observing people�s behaviors and then trying to understand why they do the things they do. When people talk about Weres changing their form, they usually think of it as some long and agonizing transformation from human to wolf. However, this is not the case in my situation. I�m constantly changing, or shifting, as I�d rather call it, from human to wolf all the time. Every second of every day, Jessie is with me, either wide awake and putting in her two cents, or sitting quietly in the back of my mind, constantly observing. She comes out more noticably in my nature at different times of the day, or if she feels she�s needed. But she is always there, no matter what. And I can always see her in my mind�s eye. This is called a Mental Shift. She also has her own distinct form, which I often see in my dreams, during what�s called a Dream Shift. Basically, she looks like a dark brown, almost black timber wolf, with some highlights around her eyes, and a white patch on her chest. I�ve also discovered through dreams and such, that she is not a pure wolf and has a very small percentage of dog in her. But notice that there are no physical shiftings, at least none of which have been proven as of yet. I know many other Weres out there who would love to be able to unlock the secret of Physical Shifting. |