This certificate certifies that the foolish mortal has received favorable vibrations from the nine-hundred and ninety-nine happy haunts of Gracey Manor on This being so, final arrangements can be made for the one thousandth happy haunt, to join the League of Hitchhiking Ghosts in the event of his/her death. This position will be available until you have left this page unless you have printed out your certificate.

Witness of death. This certificate not valid anywhere in the milky way galaxy.