1998: The Obsession Begins
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April 11-12: Gandy Goose Deuce [Bend, OR] - I drove out with my personal shadow, Silam Choy, and made it to my first big (2 day) hat tournament. I met a lot of cool folks and convinced Andrew to let Silam and me play with the Bend men at Mud Bowl.
April 18-19: Mud Bowl [Eugene, OR] "Blender" (Bend men +4) - We played pretty well during the weekend and eventually won the Beer Bracket in a pretty good game against a bunch of Portland scrubs I would come to know well over the course of the summer. My game was still pretty rough, so it was nice to hear the Bend guys surprised by my game when I played them at the end of the season in the UPA series with Skin & Bones.
May 2-3: Coed Cramp Up [Ashland, OR] - Disappointed not to have been able to join a team, I went down and met up with a friend who was living in Mt Shasta at the time. We watched some disc. I took some pictures. Blah.
May 23-24: Slugfest [Corvallis, OR] "Hurling Penguins" - I slapped together a haphazard team of mostly HP folk. We did our best, but our best wasn't all that good. Sunday, nobody from the HP team showed, so I played with Easy Off, a group mostly from Portland, many of whom I would come to know well over the summer.
May 30: HP Invitational [Santa Rosa, CA] - What happens when a bunch of the other HP teams get fresh blood (including some questionable female players from local colleges) while the Corvallis team gets complacent? Non-stop heckling from the Corn Valley kids as they watch, eat and drink heavily on the side during the final game!
Jun 20-21: Solstice [Eugene, OR] "Corvallis Cool" - The day started off rough (although we did win dark shirts against Eugene Machine and inspired them to make white jerseys before the next tourney), but once Doug Oetter left to go to a wedding, we won our second two games in style. (Sorry Doug, but that's what happened.) Sunday, we played a bitter game against a Utah squad (thanks partially to Pat "Crash" Moran) and then screwed around long enough gathering our spirits (and some beer) for our next opponents to leave before we could get ourselves over to the field.
Jun 27-28: Orcas Island [Orcas Island, WA] "Yam Gardeners" - Damn was this fun! I met a ton of great folks from the Seattle area, got to play with the legendary Joey Grey and was even dubbed a "pup" by a teammate merely 6 years my senior.
Jul 11-12: Potlatch [Kirkland, WA] - Again, I didn't find a team, so I went to visit a friend in Seattle. We went out and watched, and, more importantly, Danielle Dechenne introduced me to Chuck Hayward to initiate my connection with Skin and Bones.
Jul 18-19: Mid-season Corvallis City League Hat Tournament [Corvallis, OR] "Boneless Chickens" - Some claimed we cheated, but the names just came out of the hat that way! (I swear!) Doug Oetter, Tom & Sue Frisbee, a bunch of other folk and I were joined together on a questionably stacked team. We rolled easily through two games before everyone headed out for an exhibition at DaVinci days where we showed passers-by what the word "showboat" is all about.
Jul 25: Sluttin' Up! [Seattle, WA] "Sunny D Dawgs" - My most successful single-tournament team of the summer combined a group of solid Oregon kids with some more casual players from the Seattle area. We meshed well as a group as everyone found their role. Jesse, Tara, Si-lam and Christine played solid all day. Danielle "sucked it up" in quarters. Andy got pumped and dominated in an awesome semifinal where we busted our asses all game long to defeat a Eugene/Seattle collection that included Corey, Gutter, Bob and Rachelle. I will never forget poaching in to help someone else on D, breaking long at the sight of the turnover, shouting to Andy to "Send me!" and clamping down on the winning score. In the finals, our tournament rookie (Kathy, where are you?) scored her first goal. [So what if it was our only point of the game? Those Eugene kids (and the sun) had drained all our energy.] ...and the celebratory skinny dip in Lake Washington was a great end to the day.
Aug 1-2: G.R.U.B. [Boulder, CO] "P.H.U.C." - Thanks to some friends from KUCB (now KVCU.) who were on the team, I joined the Hucking Fappy "B" squad for this benefit tournament. The team had a few more years on most of the competition. Unfortunately, most of those years were not spent playing ultimate. I had a decent time despite the fact that we didn't win any games.
Aug 8-9: Get Ho [Eugene, OR] "Skin & Bones" - After meeting Chuck at Potlatch, I was included in the initial incarnation of Skin and Bones. Chuck already had yellow and purple shirts (and their purple and yellow negatives) and a smattering of purple socks, so, although I didn't realize it at the time, he had already put some serious thought into the team. Most of the people who played at this tournament would not continue with the team through the fall, but the initial group did include Martin Heinman, Merdedith Martin and Megan DeNiro. [Who else?] We played okay, but I was just happy to play with yet another almost completely new group of people. (Little did I know what impact this beginning would have.) The highlight of the weekend was a competative match Sunday with the PBR Bandits after which Merd suggested we come up with a cheer about Kellie Hamby's mother. What resulted went a little something like this:
Every night and every day,
Kellie's mom is a hell of a lay.
Back in Texas or far from home,
Kellie's mom likes skin and bone.
So if she's free on Saturday night...
What's that, Kellie? Are you looking for a fight?
[Apologies go out to Mrs. Hamby. I am sure she is a wonderful woman and mother.]
Aug 15-16: Spawnfest [Bellingham, WA] "Skin & Bones" - The second showing of Skin & Bones actually included quite a few Bar Flies / Elves Gone Bad. Danielle, Tom Sanchez and Peter played with the team, and Jared Cahners tagged along as our cheerleader. We all headed up to Tacoma and piled into the Hayward parental RV. Along the way, we were privy to cartoons about crack-pushing frogs and a "run-in" at a gas station. A great run in the tournament included endless chants of "Crack and Hef!" and "I am the...assistant manager!" but ended with a tough game against the home team, Cordoroy Growl. This tournament marked the first inklings of S&B's potential to "Huck, Bid, Pillage and Burn!"
Aug 22-23: Kleinman Eruption [Portland, OR] "Corvallis Cool" - Again, Doug threw together a group of Corvallis men and we made a run for the glory. I scored on Sockeye! [We lost 13-2.] We went on to lose to a bunch of teams we should have done better against and finally beat a hapless team that included a lot of rookies in one of the ugliest games I have ever seen played. (Although the Spirit was pretty good.) We also got to bark at Gutter (Ask him why.) and watch some hot women's teams. (Who cares about Open anyway?)
Aug 29: Corvallis City League and Championship [Corvallis, OR] "KMFA (Kiss My Fat Ass)" - The KMFA season consisted of a large team (a.k.a. too many men) that played decent (if ugly) ultimate well enough to coast through most games unscathed. Our few difficult games saw us crack under the pressure, and in our few boarderline games, the hot-shots on the team imposed their will to ensure victory. The final tournament was much the same. We went pretty much untested through our first few games only to meet a hot Luke Skywalker squad in the semi's. Our lack of discipline and mammoth numbers were too much to overcome, and this band of wreckless youngin's did us in. In the consolation match, we met a dead-tired Fun Squad team and won a game that should have been much tighter to end the season in third place.
Sep 19-20: UPA Oregon Sectionals [Corvallis, OR] "Skin & Bones" - In pool play, we downed Blackfish and Luke Skywalker with relative ease and beat Ashland's "Hot Schwit" in a very competative match. With a bye in our pockets, we watched Bend's "Road Head" defeat Luke for the right to play us in semi's. Maybe it was the downtime, maybe it was a lack of respect, but in any case, we found ourselves in poor form and bad position during an all-too-tight game with Bend. In the end, Bend took advantage of us and pulled out what we felt was a significant upset. Disgruntled, we entered into a match we did not think we would have to play. Instead of playing for seeding at regionals, we would complete for the last spot against Portland's "Tacky Paw".
Disgruntled after having caused the last turnover and allowed the winning score, I spent most of the offtime between games fuming in solitude. I was not in the starting lineup and half-heartedly came in after we gave up the first point. Following the pull, we moved the disk up the field despite a cluttered offense. With the disk in his hand 2/3 of the way up his forehand sideline, Dr. Dave Greenspan spotted me making a bid for the strong side of the endzone. An errant throw left the disk well short of his mark, and my defender touched the disk first as we raced to the front corner. However, instead of batting it down, he knocked it such that it looped out and toward the back of the goal. Changing directions quickly, I raced after it, gauged the angle, laid out and caught it an inch or two above the ground as I slid on my chest. As I lifted the disk above my head, still sliding, I knew I had just pulled of the most important play of my summer. I felt the team was now emotionally pumped for the game. (...well, at least I was!) In a true show of the spirit of the game, my defender came over to congradulate me before I was swarmed by estatic teammates. When the scene settled down, Merd, referring to my earlier state, asked, "Now are you in the game?" You can sure as shit bet I was. We played hard, looked good and went on to win fairly easily. Third seed from Oregon for regionals now felt like something we had now earned instead of something that we had fallen into.
Oct 10-11: UPA NW Regionals [Vancouver, BC] "Skin & Bones" - Pool play went reasonably well, leaving us at 3-2. My highlight play on Saturday was a layout block followed immediately by a score against Andy from Bellingham. I respected his game immensely after having played with him at Orcas Island and therefore had to work my ass off against him in the game against his "Chubbery". However, Regionals was not a tournament dominated by play as much as it was by controversy. Following the last game of pool play Sunday morning, rumors of questionable roster changes by powerhouse "Sol" emerged. Fingers were pointed, proof requested, excuses made, and, most importantly, time wasted. I don't know how long we waited, but eventually, we formed an ad hoc committee of captains and set up the bracketing for the elimination rounds. In a hard fought game against Candy, the top seeded WA/BC team from Vancouver, we were eliminated from Nationals contention. We finished off the tourney with a playful game against "Elves Gone Bad", the top Oregon team that had long ago broken into the cooler.
Chuck also put together an email recapping the bones regionals experience in his own unique style.
On a lighter note, teammates were the subject of seemingly endless personal cheers from newly-engaged Kellie Hamby and (Christine) McKinley all weekend. After forming a long one that included everyone, Kellie decided it was his duty to come up with some individual cheers for players. He tells me that mine was first:
My name's not Quasimoto, but I think I've got a hunch.
That Jeff's a quasi-homo with his panties in a bunch.
"They've got bagels and bananas but they have no kiesh for lunch!"
And if you don't believe me, watch that sissy throw a punch.
[Thanks Kellie.]
Skin and Bones was really a team now. I felt the love on the field and had a chance to convey some of it as I helped bestow awards at the 1st Annual Boner Awards. I was extremely honored to recieve "Male Defensive Player of the Year".
Oct 31-"32": Humboldt Harvest [Arcata, CA] "Pandora's Gootch" - Born out of KMFA's desire to play a tournament together, this was a city league team that added a few "ringers" (Matt, Kama, Amy Dreves and her friend Joe from Ashland.) However, Catholic High School Girls in Trouble quickly deflated into muddy Evil Gnomes. Let's just say that we had fun playing disc golf in the redwoods on Sunday.
November 8: PUFF Hat Tournament [Portland, OR] "Chipmunks" - Battling my first hangover following the Doghouse warming party, I learned what most ultimate players have for some time: It is not fun to play with a hangover. Anyway, I fought through it as best I could, had a grand time, met even more Portland kids and got to play with Shar for the first time.
November 15: U of O Hat Tournament [Eugene, OR] "Warped" - Arriving during the second round of games, I was greeted by a cry from Doug Oetter, "He's good, put him on our team." I thus joined Doug, Roach and the rest, and played well as we joined a three-way tie for first at 3-1. Most significantly, I was awarded a "game disk" at the end of the day. This meant a great deal to me, and I hope that I can live up next year to what I believe folks saw in me during this event.
November 28: Turkey Bowl [Seattle, WA] "Honesty" - Success for teams in hat tournaments is often dictated by chance. Luck was not our virtue, so I must confess that we only won the game between the 0-fer teams in the last round. Nonetheless, this tournament marked my 19th of the summer and capped off an exceptional experience with my new found obsession.
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Oct 10-11: UPA NW Regionals [Vancouver, BC] "Skin & Bones" - Pool play went reasonably well, leaving us at 3-2. My highlight play on Saturday was a layout block followed immediately by a score against Andy from Bellingham. I respected his game immensely after having played with him at Orcas Island and therefore had to work my ass off against him in the game against his "Chubbery". However, Regionals was not a tournament dominated by play as much as it was by controversy. Following the last game of pool play Sunday morning, rumors of questionable roster changes by powerhouse "Sol" emerged. Fingers were pointed, proof requested, excuses made, and, most importantly, time wasted. I don't know how long we waited, but eventually, we formed an ad hoc committee of captains and set up the bracketing for the elimination rounds. In a hard fought game against Candy, the top seeded WA/BC team from Vancouver, we were eliminated from Nationals contention. We finished off the tourney with a playful game against "Elves Gone Bad", the top Oregon team that had long ago broken into the cooler.
My name's not Quasimoto, but I think I've got a hunch.
Oct 31-"32": Humboldt Harvest [Arcata, CA] "Pandora's Gootch" - Born out of KMFA's desire to play a tournament together, this was a city league team that added a few "ringers" (Matt, Kama, Amy Dreves and her friend Joe from Ashland.) However, Catholic High School Girls in Trouble quickly deflated into muddy Evil Gnomes. Let's just say that we had fun playing disc golf in the redwoods on Sunday.