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X: I don't know - I was going for ferocious/scary, but it's coming out more dryly sardonic. W: It does appear to be mocking you with its eyeholes. X: I got better things to do than tag along to some fraternity. W: You can come. X: 'Kay. But only because I lied about having better things to do. X: Sad Buffy. W: She didn't even touch her pumpkin. It's a freak with no face. X: Ahhh! I wasn't scared. I was in the spirit. W: And we'll back you up on that. Even if they question us separately. W: The icon's called the Mark of Gachnar. I think this is a summoning spell for something called... X: Gachnar? X: Big overture. Leetle show. Gachnar (in a tiny, high-pitched voice): I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me! W: He... he's so cute! W: I don't believe this is entirely on the up-and-up. X: What gives it away? W: Looking at it. W: I'm pregnant by my step-brother, who'd rather be with my best friend, and he's left me with no place to live, no food except for this bottle of Wild Turkey which I drank all up. < pause > That was me being tanked and friendless for ya. X: Gets my Oscar nod. X: Did you guys have enough fun for one night? W: Yes, please. X: Hey, Will. Mom let you in? W: She seemed cranky. X: Yeah, we're having a little landlord/tenant dispute, so I'm withholding rent. An effective, and I might add, thrifty tactic. X: So, I know why I'm sitting in a dank, sunless little room. But why are you? W: Well, things with Oz are weird, and I talked to Buffy about it, but I think we're in Guyville here. I need a translator from the "Y" side of things. X: Well, last time I checked, I had the creds. Hit me. W: What does it mean when a girl wants to... you know. X: If you're doing it, I think you should be able to say it. W: Make love. X: Wild monkey love, or tender Sarah McLaughlin love? W: Any kind. But what if the girl wants to and the guy doesn't? That's a bad sign, right? X: Could be. Or the girl caught the guy in one of the 7 annual minutes he's legitimately too preoccupied to do it. W: Well, say the girl's been noticing... X: Will, I've deciphered your ingenious code. W: It lists the various-- X: Various? As in...? W: Oh, well, the important thing is not to panic. X: Well, you just recited the mystical panic causing incantation, so little hope there. Let's talk about the various. W: Well, they did suffer from malaria, some smallpox... Anya: I was gonna say smallpox. W: You know, syphilis. But basically, standard sort of stuff. X: Question? W: There are two sides to it. X: To slaying him? Well, the representative from syphilis votes "yes." W: I think he thought we were crazy. X: Well, maybe if Anya hadn't opened the conversation with, "Everybody got both ears?" X: Will, not liking the drowning of the sorrows. W: Not drowning, wading. Uh, see? Light. No big. W: I mean, I know the Percy thing isn't really important. It's the dead guy on the bed. X: Yeah, that's bad, too. X: What? He wants to die, I want to help. W: It's ooky. We know him. We can't just let him poof himself. W: Great, no Word of Valios. X: Not even a syllable of Valios. X: It's kinda weird being back, isn't it? W: Yeah. Everything seems so small... and more charred and ruiny. W: I implore you, Neisa, blessed goddess of chance and fortune, heed my call, send to me the heart I desire. X: You know, magic at the poker table qualifies as cheating. W: That wasn't magic. I was praying. X: Want one? W: No, thanks. Those things usually taste kind of , then leave a bad after ness. W: Plus... Riley? He seems like he wouldn't tell a little white lie, let alone a whole bunch of big dirty ones. X: That's why they call it the Secret Forces, Will, 'cause they kind of keep the whole lying thing to themselves. W: Oh, I have an idea. Beat the crap out of her. X: Good plan. W: What about the Council? X: Been there, tried that. Not unlike smothering a forest fire with napalm, as I recall. X: We knocked 'em dead. Which they already were. W: We knocked 'em deader. X: Demons versus soldiers. Massacre, massacre. W: And Adam has a neat pile of body parts to start assembling his army. Diabolical yet.. gross. X: Does anybody else miss the Mayor "I just wanna be a big snake"? W: Nervous? X: No way. I'm full of that good old kamikazee spirit. X: Dinner is served. And my very own recipe. W: Ooh, you pushed the button on the microwave that says "popcorn"? X: Actually, I pushed "defrost", but Joyce was there in the clinch. X: Well, we got plenty of vid. And I'm putting in a preemptive bid for "Apocalypse Now", huh? W: Did you get anything less heart-of-darkness-y? X: "Apocalypse Now" is a gay romp. It's the feel-good movie of whatever year it was W: This summer I read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." X: Oh, who cares! W: Only at death's door over here. Look at Xander. X: Got the sucking chest wound swingin'. I promised Anya I'd be here for her big night. Now I'll probably be pushing up daisies, in the sense of being in the ground underneath them and fertilizing the soil with my decomposition. W: The first Slayer. Wow. X: Not big with the socialization. W: Or the floss.  |
