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X: 'Come and get it, Big Boy'? W: Well...W-well, the Slayer always says a pun or-or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off, and, and it makes them *frightened* because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but *you* try it every time. W: I wonder what our first homework assignment's gonna be. [Xander gives her a look] W: Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues. W: Okay. Now, he's had his 2:00 feeding, and, uh, after sunrise, if he forgets where his clothes are, they're on top of the file cabinet in his cage. I put those towels up for privacy. X: Uh, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty....I mean, not 'handle' handle, like 'hands to flesh' handle. W: Mmm, okay....[with lots of nervous gesturing]....Well, it's not for you; It's for me, 'cause I'm still getting used to half a Monty X: Oh. Good.....Half!? You and Oz? Which half? W: [with a big smile] Wouldn't *you* like to know? X: So, uh... you and Oz. How do I put this? Are we on first, second, or, uh... ye gods? W: That's none of your business, Alexander Harris. W: [responding to Xander's reaction to her appearance] Uh, I know. 'Nice.' X: I was gonna go with 'gorgeous'. W: Really? You, too. I-in a guy way. X: [après smooching Willow] That didn't just happen! W: No! I mean, it did, but it didn't! X: Because I respect you. And Oz. And I would never... W: I would never, either! I-it must be the clothes. I-it's a fluke. X: It's a clothes fluke, that's what it is. And there'll be no more fluking. W: Not ever. X: We gotta get out of these clothes! W: Right now! X: Oh, I didn't mean... W: I didn't... me, either! X: It just when I look at you now, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time. X: What? W: Sometimes when you're falling to pieces, you're mouth, it does the sweetest thing. What are we gonna do? X: We just have to get the two of them communicating. W: I'm talking about us. W: This is all our fault. X: How do you get from 'chick fight' to 'our fault'? W: Because: we felt so guilty about the fluke, we overcompensated helping Cordelia, and we spun the whole group dynamic out of orbit, and we're just a big meteor shower heading for Earth... W: This is a nightmare. This is... My world is spinning. X: It's not that bad, Willow, really. W: 740? Verbal?! I'm-I'm... pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel. W: Great! Double bowling date. I'm on Oz's team. X: Yeah? Well, prepare to be crushed. W: They don't stand a chance. I'm really good. Or I used to be, when they had the inflatable things in the gutters. W: It's *bad* bowling. I-it's a double date, with all of us, and they're gonna know! X: How are they gonna know? W: It's a very intimate situation. It's all with the smoke and the sweating and the shoe rental... X: You're turned on by rented shoes? W: That's not the issue. X: Okay, then let me ask you this, what are they gonna know? That we're friends. Old, old friends. And maybe we've had one or two indiscretions, but that's all past. Look, we're just very good friends who like to hang out and can I kiss your earlobe? W: No... well, okay. No! Pez! X: Maybe bowling might be too much to handle. Man! I wish I wasn't so attracted to you. I wish we could make it all stop. W: Any suggestions? X: Are you nuts? Or have you forgotten that I tend to have bad luck with these sorts of spells? W: But you said that you wishes that these feelings would just go away. X: Yeah, I wish for a lot of things. I told you that I wished I was a fireman in sixth grade, but you didn't follow through on that. W: I can't do this anymore Xander. This whole us thing is... bleah. X: So, do you really need to resort to the black arts to keep out hormones in check. W: At this point, I'm thinking no. W: Xander? Are you okay? X: Dizzy. Kind of nauseous, too. Do I remember having a fight with Spike? W: You do. X: I won, right? Kicked his ass? W: You were real brave. W: He's out of control. I mean, not that he was Joe Restraint in the old days. X: So what are our options? W: Well, I figure either... I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell and he kills us. X: Give me a third option. W: He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one. X: But you know what really bugs me? Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know positively that was the last time we were ever gonna kiss. W: Dark tootin. X: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking. This is really all their fault. W: Xander, your hand. X: Oops, sorry. But why oops? I mean, we always touch digits. It's a friend thing. Comfort - like chocolate. Vamp W: I love this part. Vamp X: You love all the parts. Vamp W: No fun. She didn't even hardly fight. Vamp X: Ah, swell. It's the white hats. Vamp X: "Gotta get Buffy here." Isn't that what they called the Slayer? Vamp W: Hmm, Buffy. Ooh, scary. Vamp X: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts. Vamp W: You're in a big cage. Vamp X: Not too bright, book guy. Master: You killed the girl that sought the Slayer? Vamp X: It was too easy. Vamp W: I felt cheap. Vamp W: Watch it with those things. You almost got my hair. Vamp X: Sorry, got carried away. Don't you want to? Vamp W: No thanks baby. I just want to watch you go. X: That's the Christmas spirit. W: Hello, still Jewish. Chanukah spirit, I believe that was? W: I have stuff in my locker. Henbane, hellebore, mandrake root. X: Excuse me. s. Can we turn the sympathy this way? X: An ice show. A show performed on ice. And how old are we again? W: I went to Snoopy on Ice when I was little. My dad took me backstage, and I got so scared I threw up on Woodstock. W: Are you okay? X: Tip-top, really. If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it. W: Rejection I can handle 'cause of the years of training, but this... X: I feel your pain, Will. Like right now, I'm torn between the fast-growing of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I'm still waiting to hear back from the corndog emporium, so... W: No, it's fine, I'm Old Reliable. X: She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals. W: That's Old Faithful. X: Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot...? W: That's Old Yeller. W: Maybe I'm not just some doormat person. Homework gal. X: I'm thinking nerve strike. W: Maybe I'll change my look. Or cut class. You don't know. And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned. Vamp W: Xander... X: Will. Changing the look. Not an idle threat with you. Vamp W: You're alive. X: Will, this is verging on naughty touching, here. Don't want to fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places. Vamp W: You're alive. X: You mentioned that... before X: Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire. W: I'm not a vampire! X: What is the signal? W: Me screaming. W: In the top of your book cabinet. With the stuff you try to keep hidden. X: Hidden? Are there any engravings I should know about? Frolicking nymphs of some kind? W: At least Angel's not bad, though. That's good, right? X: Yes, I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in the "good" way. It's a "good" bruise. W: According to Freddy's latest editorial, "the pep rally is a place for pseudo-prostitutes to provoke men into a sexual frenzy, which, when thwarted, results in pointless athletic competition." X: And the down-side being? X: I can't help it. It's my nature. W: Maybe you need a better nature. X: Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya, or the sock puppet of love for this boy. W: Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big "I told you so." X: Guess who our commencement speaker is? W: Siegfried? X: No. W: Roy? X: No. W: One of the tigers? X: Come out of the fantasy, Will.  |
