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It all comes back to you at times... in memories & dreams. The past streams back in waves. It flows around you like a cold wind, slapping your face. But the good kind... a refreshing "whoosh" on the cheek. It awakens long-lost thoughts & ideas... good & bad. If you can remember the events or, at least, pretend that you do, you can move the story along again. There were avenues back then that you never followed, but there is no regret. You can set aside the bad parts to chew on later... but the bliss must be tempered eventually. I had a dream a few nights ago about walking hand-in-hand with a young woman around Parliament Hill. Remember times when there were still beautiful, virginal girls & young men na�ve enough to believe it was true? They were simpler times for simpler minds. People grow, but times change as well. Sisyphus was a cheap trick compared to folks today... we're all smarter than our gods as we grow older. I remember sitting in a basement years later with a stupid grin on my face, knowing i had lucked into some sort of odd situation... a general dick-around i could have never imagined. A colossal waste of time that i would not trade for anything. Time passes & "the times" fade away... but the memories we keep are as important as anything. But again, the best laid plans are fairy tales, in the end. Cut to a scene on a Caribbean beach. It feels right, even though it should be obvious it isn't. But we're euphoric in our oblivion. Words like Luck & Love & Strength are abstract jokes that please us at times. And "to die for" leaves a bad taste in our mouths when the realization comes that certain traits remain static, in spite of how hard we try to change them. These people & these situations all self-destructed at some point... but we all do, now & again. We hold on to memories for a reason. We change, they change... times & places change. The past is an echo and what we hear is up to us. But that does not change what was said. It's a fine line that many people walk in order to keep their sanity... but sometimes we must lose our grip to truly understand ourselves & others. Smiling through tears is an interesting reaction, when it's not contrived... |