If you own a cat and happen to use the scoopable kitty litter, here's a little tip for ya - if you ever, for whatever reason, really want the cat to take a huge, smelly-ass dump, just go clean the litter out. It's an almost guarantee that the little shit will be in the box inside 15 minutes stinkin' it up.



The thing about laundry is that it's never done.



A few days ago I woke up & my right eye was sore & damn near swollen shut. Although it got better throughout the day, the next morning it was swollen again. I had no idea what the fuck was going on. That night, though, as i was getting ready to go to bed, i noticed the cat over in the corner snickering & giving me the universal, "I'm gonna drop an elbow on your ass," motion. I haven't slept much since.



I had an epiphany the other day while in the shower, so i immediately got out, toweled off & went to write it down. By the time i got to a pen & paper, though, it came out in French. I used my French-English dictionary to translate it & came up with this: "Dogs barking, can't fly without umbrella."
I think it lost something in the translation.



Yeah, i watch Trading Spaces..... so what?



My friend Keith once tried to explain d�j� vu. He had heard that d�j� vu occurs when we see something that we had dreamed before. This happens because we dream so much in our lifetimes (remembering very little) that at some point we've dreamt almost every conceivable thing that could happen. Or something like that. To be honest, i normally would have thought he was full of shit, if it weren't for the fact that i could have sworn that i had this exact same conversation with a naked woman while falling headlong off a building.



God damn cat. He's such a bastard, but then the other day i'm working on the computer & look over to see him bobbing his head & meowing along to the Mose Allison record i was listening to. He may be a bastard, but he does have good taste in music.