I had an interesting thought the other day:
Wouldn't a hollowed out human foot make a good drinking glass. Like a hard-core beer stein. I'm talking about a gunboat, like a 14 or 15, at least. Can't you just picture a big foot sitting in your freezer, frosting over, just waiting for a nice cool beverage to take a quick seat in it?
Most people know how hard it is to hold in a fart while you're walking. And most people know that it is even harder to hold one in while you're walking up stairs. But i just found out, much to the ire of the guy walking behind me, that it is damn near impossible to hold in a fart while walking up stairs with someone following behind you, with their face right at bung level.
I like to go to a beach where a bunch of old people walk around with metal detectors & bury metal objects that say, "Stop wasting your time, jagoff."
Earlier this week i discovered that the best place to cram for a test is sitting on the toilet while engaging in a prolific grape-nuts� dump.
And speaking of cramming (har-har), while studying for my French History final this week, the funniest thing i came across was this, written in my notes:
Germans march into Paris, take Maginot from behind.
And speaking of finals week, i've been cramming & finishing up papers & all that crap, so i've had an ultra stressful week, not to mention very little sleep of late. So, the other day i'm walking to the shitter in the library to relieve some pressure & what do i see? A goddamn clown! Some jerk-off, with paint on his face, walking around trying to cheer people up during this stressful time. Holy shit, did he do the trick, too. I felt so much better after i punched him in the face, pushed him over, then did a two-footed stomp right on his groin. Thank you, clown!
Today i had quite a lengthy conversation with myself while in the shower. I was asking myself questions and then actually answering them. Now, i know this sounds crazy as shit, but if you had only heard the answers. They were really intelligent & witty. I'm not sure what this all means - am i going insane, or just getting smarter?
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