I want to see a movie about a ten year old kid who's a chess prodigy, who then grows up to defy his father, who pressured him into the sport in the first place. He wins all sorts of awards & tournaments, but it's never enough for his domineering father. The kid ends up quitting chess for good, goes off to college & does all kinds of drugs. He then ends up babbling to himself in some run-down apartment building, kinda like the guy in the movie Shine, just totally crazy. But then he meets a woman who turns him around, & he starts running. Then the movie ends with him winning the silver medal in the 800 meters at the Olympics. That'd be great.
Here's something you don't hear very often from a person holding a two month old baby, "Oh, the baby's not mine; it's my fianc�s."
I like to walk around all day with my zipper down, but my coat just barely covering it up. Especially if i have a pair of dick-out boxers on.
If you go out in my front yard right now, you'll see three crop-circle-like formations - made out of doggie footprints - with a huge pile of shit right in the middle of them. And then there's a little half a terd about four inches from the center.
I was sitting on the toilet at work the other day, taking a dump & pondering, when it came to me. No, not the meaning of life - just a great way to steal a man's wallet. Just sit in a stall in some big department store's restroom & wait for someone to drop trough in the stall beside you. Then, preferably after you hear the first terd drop, you grab under the wall into his pants & jet with the wallet. So, in order to catch you, the guy has to run after you with his pants around his ankles & a poop-butt. If he takes the time to pull his drawers up, you'll already be gone.
And by the way, if you try this & get caught, i don't know you.
I love when shitty, run-down public schools try to make themselves look progressive by giving themselves the name ____ Academy. Nothing makes a school look good like having a sign that says Renaissance Academy hanging right over the metal detector you have to walk through to get in.
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