This is my take on the "Team Player" that pops up at most dead end jobs. This is funnier when read aloud with angry voice inflections. The f-bomb is used sparingly due to drunkenness. Also, a thank you goes out to Shane for originally pointing this bullshit out to me. I guess i just had to see it for myself. |
What is it with the asshole "Team Players" at bullshit jobs? "Team Players" are the kinda people i want in the military, or in politics... or some important job. But at Meijer? At Home Depot? No fucking thank you. Well, i guess if that's your job... i mean for life, then it's okay to be all gung-ho about it. But don't get in my fucking face for not dropping my pants & flicking my dick in excitement if our stock goes up a half a goddamn point. I don't fucking care. And don't fucking look at me like i've done the entire "crew" at work a huge disservice by calling in sick or being 5 minutes late. Don't get me wrong here, i know it's my job & i'm getting paid & all that, but if i'm fucking sick, i'm not going into work to make $9 an hour. If i was salaried & making 70 G's a year, maybe i'd sacrifice. But guess what Joe Team, i'm not. So go fuck yourself in the goat-ass. And here's another news flash, dick... 9 out of 10 hourly employees here aren't impressed by you putting in an extra 15 minutes of work to help the cripple load his space heater onto his Cripple Van. And the one out of ten is probably going to end up like you, making $20,000 a year & living in a trailer. What is it with these assholes that get an ounce of power at work and all of a sudden think they're fucking Mussolini? Hey, Genghis, cool it down a notch or ten. Inform me as to what i need to do at the beginning of the day and then get the fuck out of my face. If you have something for me to do, then come over to me & ask me to do it. Don't think that just because you have the title "Head Cashier" that anyone looks up to you. More than likely, they don't give a fuck. Don't act as if it's a personal strain on you if i have to ask for your help, or if i don't know how to do something. Guess what, asswipe... you are not better than me. I'm probably not better than you either, but at least my head isn't up my ass. But guess what, dicklick... i'm not going to be doing this bullshit the rest of my life. So if i don't master the quantity key on the cash register, then i'm not really put out. Hopefully one day i'll have a job that matters, maybe something that affects people�s lives. Now, don't get me wrong here, if you want to make a career out of this job, then good. If that's what you want, more power to you & congratulations on your career. But don't fucking treat me like shit just because i don't have the same zeal for this shit as you do. And this small amount of "power" you have... well when we leave the store, shove it up your ass, use it as a suppository, take a dump & then stick your head in the fucking bowl. |