Back to Part I Epilog - The Beginning , Back to Part II Counting hogs
Little is recorded of the next morn. Sancho rose early and taking charge of his herd, gave them a partial feed of grain and then in the lead with them following, passed through the town before it was wide awake. With the exception of dogs and cats that have their usual business to attend, there was little notice of their passing. Not half a league, or that is to say, about a mile from town, Sancho and his sounder of swine found the Good Don and Donna in the midst of breakfast. A fine slop for the hogs had been prepared and Maria and the others appeared most appreciative. As the Don and Shirlee were intent on making good distance this day, they gave biscuits, curds and cured ham to Sancho and with agreement as to where they would meet shortly after midday, they departed. Sancho finished all that was provided, and using the last remainder of the barley to entice the swine, followed within the hour. At this stage we must leave the swine herd and continue with the travels of Alonso the Good and Dame Shirlee.
At the inn the previous night they had good company of the host and others that were staying at the posida. As was customary, wild tales of adventure were related by all, with the exception of the Don and Donna who were probably judged by those in attendance to having had a most dull and disinteresting life. However, one story demands retelling. It was reported by more than one assembled, that there was a band of outlaws in the woods on the outskirts of town and that they were desperate in their actions. While no one knew for certain that these bandits were killers, it was rumored so. In times past as the reader will recall, Don Quixote would have risen early and sought out these evil ones and brought to justice those who were causing violence to the people of the countryside. Not so, as Alonso now had a different life to lead and he intended to perform as was expected of him. Taking their leave from the host and others, they were quickly abed and asleep. Before the cock crowed, both were awake and having finished their morning toilet, gave a feed to Amadis and Rozinante and then as quickly as possible left on the way to their village in the district of La Mancha. Outside town, as has been mentioned, they prepared breakfast for themselves and Sancho, and awaited his arrival with Maria and her tribe. Not a little concerned were the two as the rumors of bandits weighed heavily on their minds. But seeing Sancho and all well, they quickly discounted the stories and did not even mention them to simple Sancho as they were both in agreement that to do so might cause a burden of worry that he need not bear. So they departed as said before and now begins a most interesting story.
Rozinante was in fine spirits and as the road was level, it was decided that the Don could ride behind Dame Shirlee. Using the left stirrup, he swung his weight up and behind the mistress. Now it should be noted that the Donna weighed less than the armour that Don Quixote wore so the combined stones of Don and Donna were not too heavy a burden. In this fashion, the travelers made time much better than they had planned and finding a pleasant grove of trees with a stream adjacent, they stopped at mid morn.
Rozinante and Amadis were given free reign of the lush grass that grew along the stream and the pair of riders stretched their legs and after a leisurely walk along the stream sat underneath a cork tree and discussed I know not what. Their pleasant interlude was rudely interrupted by two men who suddenly appeared before them and just as quick a rider on horseback emerged from the dense wood.
"Move not or you yield your life to the arms of Garcia and his men!"
Having been caught in their unawares, neither the Don or Donna could do other than to remain seated. The one called Garcia, dismounted from his mare which was of good flesh and breeding. As he dropped the reins, she stood with no intent of moving from the spot to which she was affixed as if by a strong binding. What an uncouth and unsavory threesome they were. Their clothes, if they can be called such, were tattered and the only thing that appeared to be in decent order was the birding-piece that Garcia held and his two companions each held at the ready, long swords withdrawn from their scabbards. The swordsmen stood at what might be called attention by some, as they awaited Garcia's orders. Should they dispatch the two to heaven or hell and then determine the amount of plunder or should they perhaps toy with them instead? It was clear that only the three would leave alive, it being only an issue of time. With such a meek pair in front of them, their leader puzzled for a moment as how to proceed. However, he did not reckon that the gentleman in linen was in another life, Don Quixote. His mistake.
"I see that you have a fine ass and a most unworthy stallion. Let us remove them from you so that you have no further concern for their care. Yes I think I will offer you two pesetas (about four dollars) for the pair. If you think it too much, name a more fair price and I will be more than happy to accommodate you. You see my friends here are in need of a means of transportation and while neither would prefer to ride on the ass, for sure neither would want to be seen by friends astride such a repugnant and spavined horse, if that be what it is, they shall swallow their pride for want of better. Find your tongue man, I have work to do, will you accept the offer?"
Don Quixote, for that is who emerged from the body and soul of Alonso the good, replied. "Hold fast cavalier, perhaps you have made a serious mistake in thinking that my fair lady and I are interested in trade with the likes of you. Carracho, and if you don't understand the meaning of the term, it is pest, insect, flea, tick, or whatever. I suggest that you depart the way in which you came so that I will not take insult from your presence."
Now this looked as if it was going to be good sport and Garcia and his men thought that perhaps killing this old, scrawny man would be justice and a benefit to the world. "What say you? Do you question don Garcia? Perhaps you would like to test yourself against me or one of my men to impress the lady? But, alas you are unarmed, unless you consider the pack stave upon which you rest your bony ass. Rise up and show us what man we are facing, for your bite must surely be awesome as we can see by the fit of your teeth that they do not match, top to bottom." With this, Garcia's men gave a hearty laugh and took a position against a near tree to see what the events of the hour would bring.
Quixote in battle had never had such a commitment to success. He must not fail as his fair mistress would surely pay a greater price than that of her life. "Kind sir, if you would let me entertain you, for I as you acknowledge, am older, weaker and my eyesight grows dim with the passage of time. Nevertheless, I accept your challenge and I set the terms of our engagement. Take the sword of one of your men and offer it to me and you take the other. My mistress and your troupe will judge the fairness of the outcome and if I win, not only will they depart, but I will gain your mare as well. If I lose, take the ass and stallion and begone. Do you, scum of the earth, have a civil answer?"
Certainly, the bandits had never expected such a response and in fact previous rape and pillage were dull compared to this offering. Could this decrepit bag of bones actually believe he could fight in fair with Carlos Garcia and have any chance of winning? Garcia's men laughed, and with their roar, Garcia could do nothing but accept Don Quixote's challenge.
"Old one, how do you suggest that we proceed. I look forward to engaging you and wetting my blade with your blood."
Don Quixote answered; "In times of yore, knights met on the battle field on their horses and exchanged blows. I propose we begin on horseback and once fallen, the battle continue on foot. Are you so sure of your abilities that you would deny me this bit of sport?"
Suddenly, the boot was on the other foot, as Sancho would have said, had he been there. Garcia could not lose stature in the face of his men as he knew that they would spread the word near and far, once this activity was complete. Yet he had never once ridden his mare in combat, especially a fight as that proposed by this gentleman. He must accept.
"Give me the terms of engagement so that I can prepare myself."
"It is really quite simple. I take my good and faithful horse, Rozinante, with sword in hand and retire to the offside of the clearing. You take your mare and do the same, withdrawing to the oak tree by the stream. On reaching our appointed position, we turn and on acknowledgment of being at the ready, charge and do damage, one to the other. No quarter is given. Do you agree, swine?"
This enraged Garcia and knowing his own strength and that of his horse plus the fact that it was clearly stated that no warning should be given prior to engagement, he knew that the results of battle would be quick and easily accomplished to his favor.
"You make a fair proposal and I accept. It is done. Get that nag and prepare yourself for the last battle of your life."
Taking the swords from his men and laying aside his musket, he tossed a sword to Quixote and gave a whistle for his mare. His men paid no attention to his having laid the gun in easy reach of the lady, and why should they, women knew not how to operate such weapons. A butcher knife would be a different matter.
Quixote taking the blade in hand then addressed the bandit thusly; "Know you sir that you are about to face the famous knight-errant, Don Quixote of La Mancha. I must ask, do you know of his fame?"
What was this? This fool was now claiming to be a personage that was know throughout Spain and perhaps the world. Don Quixote. He looked a bit more closely at this gentleman who he had now armed and who was proposing not only to do combat but if legend were true would not only slay him in a flash but his two assistants as well. In reflection he saw that but he had unarmed his men and the blunderbuss lay against a tree. Even if they could reach it, he doubted their ability to strike the flint and discharge it, considering the near quarters. Such a weapon as the blunderbuss was actually of little value. The old one he had armed claimed to be the Famous Knight-errant, Don Quixote of La Mancha, in whose district they were now and about to join in battle. Perhaps he had risked too much? If this was in fact Don Quixote, would he have a chance in combat? While thought came slowly, it appeared to him that the only outcome favorable to him was to continue with the challenge, but he no longer had the advantage that he just moments before had possessed.
Rozinante came on his masters call, hoping for a feed of oats, barley or some other pleasant treat. Quixote standing with his back to his combatant, checked his saddle and loosened the alforjas (a double wallet or bag that can be slung across the shoulder or rump of the horse), it being the only suitable buckler available to the Don. He swung easily into the saddle and stood at the ready, sword hanging loosely from his right hand, awaiting Garcia's move.
Seeing there was no way to extricate himself from this mess, the bandit gained his stirrup and sat himself on his mare. This was the first time that Rozinante had been made aware that there was another horse present, and in his eye, such a pretty one. In the same moment, the mare saw this creature standing easily three hands or more in advantage and with an evil gleam in his eye.
As all was in readiness, the two men raised their swords in salute and turned back to back and directed their horse to the positions as agreed. It is well to remind the reader that Rozinante had performed this task before and knew his assignment well, on the other hand, the mare was uncertain of what she was to be called to do.
Garcia's mind was unsettled but he was convinced that he had the strength to unseat and kill this greying one that surely was older than his own father. This thought was not comforting. Haste, was his final thought, as he spurred his horse to a gallop, quickly covering half the distance assigned, and wheeled her so that he could catch the stallion and his rider before they had made their turn.
The bandit's sword was raised as he leaned over the neck of his horse and with a sharp kick in the ribs drove her forward. Here he forgot the keen sense of smell of a stallion and how they might respond to what would be considered an invitation to events other than deadly combat. Gentleman that he was, Quixote rode Rozinante in no great rush and thought of ways in which he might gain advantage. He took the wallet in his left and continued, holding the reins and blade in his right hand.
The stallion sensed before Don Quixote that the mare was near and quite extraordinary for him, he quickly turned his head to see if she was pursuing him. This sudden movement caused the sword to be propelled from the Don's hand and he found himself without arms. The oncoming charge of Garcia on his mare was not to be denied by Quixote, but Rozinante had other things in mind. With what could be said by some to be an evil smile on his lips and fire (perhaps lust) in his eyes he was now in control of horse and rider's movements. The bandit's sword was raised for a first and final blow that would cleave the knight-errant from stem to stern and end the battle. He did not anticipate the interaction of the two horses. It must be admitted that in times past, Rozinante had been unsure of foot and could not be accused of swiftness, but this was a different encounter and he in no way was to be denied. He turned boldly, unseating his rider in the process, lunged forward and met the charge of the mare and bandit full on. With a crash that would have broken the spirit of a lesser animal, the stallion met the charge. In no way could the bandit fight a riderless horse, much less one with amorous intent toward a mare in season and in quick order he was likewise without purchase in the saddle. His fall was much less satisfactory than the knight's as the force of impact of his charging mare and that of Rozinante was easily double that experienced by the Don.
Recovering from his fall, Don Quixote gathered himself up and went in search of his weapon. Finding it, he turned to where the bandit lay, his neck broken as surely as if by the hangman's noose.
Taking both swords in hand, but not to sure of foot as he was still unsettled by his fall, Alonso the good walked toward the two remaining bandits. As the reader may remember, they were unarmed. Never in their lives had they seen such combat. And not being wise to the ways of the world and knighthood, thought that this was the way in which battles were fought and that the now armed Don Quixote, swaggering or so they though, but actually stumbling and in confusion from the painful dismount from Rozinante, was coming to dispatch them as well. It is quite possible that the two of them may still be in flight at this writing as they left with such haste that they were never to be seen again in these parts.
On arrival back at the campsite, Alonso the good was met by his fair lady who showed great concern for her man's condition. He sat under the tree, attended by her until the sun was near the peak in its flight when Sancho and his brood of swine found them. On first sight, he saw Rozinante entertaining a most beautiful mare. He called out and was answered by Donna Shirlee who bid him come to the trees underneath which they sat.
What pride did the dame have in relating the story of how her intended had vanquished the three bandits without such as a single stroke. They were enriched by the capture of the mare as prize for winning the contest and as a bonus, her master had gained a fine birding-piece as well. The story telling could continue through the lunch so she busied herself with the meal preparations while Sancho and Alonso returned to the field to find a suitable burying place for the bandit, and catch up the two horses who now having completed their fun seemed more likely to be reduced to accepting the commands of their master.
It is suggested that Sancho recovered from the bandit some ounces of gold for his own enrichment but that is rumor only and not to be repeated, although it is known that his wife was much pleased by gifts bestowed upon her by her errant husband on his return.
Sid Mahtrow writes that in this way did the fivesome become six and in some thirteen months were joined by another. (Swine and other lower animals are not counted in the way of horses, asses and people.)
No other events worthy of note are recorded for this day and the morn that followed. Back to Part I, the story of Epilog - The Beginnings, Back to Part II, on the Counting hogs, Forward to Part IV, the The Conclusion
Joe Wortham's Home Page , About Joe Wortham
Please send comments to: [email protected]