Bottle Babes and Ear Twitchers

Bottle babes and ear twitchers are those people we see about us that are involved in one or the other and maybe both of these unsociable activities.

Of course you have seen the young (or not so young) male or female, sucking on a bottle of water. Imagine and adult nursing in public, or mouthing a pacifier. These paragons of culture will as likely as not tell you that it's healthy; the city water is no good, contains chemicals, taste funny, smells, or is just too inconvenient to carry around in a bottle. And, besides all those in-the-know are doing it. These are "Bottle Babes."

In case you think this is a small group, of enlightened ones, think again. There is a major industry meeting their needs. As example, production of bottled water in billion gallons in California, 1.13; Texas, 0.52; Florida, 0.34; and New York, 0.30 adds up to 2.3 billion gallons in these four states alone, which is almost ten gallons for every person in the United States and consumption continues to grow! And guess what, the Salvation Army is storing 70,000 gallons of bottled water in Tampa just in case the state has an emergency. What's the Salvation Army, a not for profit organization, doing in the bottled water business? Just imagine a hurricane or other disaster and you see that those bottle babes would be in real trouble without someone providing a pacifier for them.

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In the case of the ear twitcher, this is reference to those who appear to have a permanent ear implant of a cell phone. Maybe they just have a bad case of ear mites, and are trying to sooth the itch. I think not. Rather they are suffering from the same malady that the bottle babes are infected with.

That is, they are caught with nothing to do, are at a traffic light or perhaps just between thoughts, so it is most appropriate that they take phone in hand and talk. Talk, talk, talk. Do you think anyone is really listening? One of our neighbors is often seen in the front yard, walking about with phone in hand. Now she could be doing something useful like yard work or keeping up with what's new in the neighborhood, but no, she's on the phone. She and her likes are ear-twitchers.

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You may ask; does being a bottle-babe or ear-twitcher have anything to do with smoking? Imagine if you will, these same individuals some ten years previous. What would they be doing? Why sucking on a cigarette to salve their nervousness, impatience or just plain idleness? But now society has deemed cigarettes harmful to their health, without cigarettes to toy with they find their hands idle.

So they open the bottle, take a swig, and put the bottle away. Takes about as much time as it would have if they were lighting a cigarette. Only real difference is that they don't get the nicotine rush that smokers do. But their habit is unsocialable, maybe even more so than smoking. Imagine them offering you a swig from their own personal bottle. While some smokers have been known to pass the fag about, mostly, they give into a bummer and offer up a weed.

The ear twitchers on the other hand are in a world all their own, except for the person on the other end of the line. Because the phone requires constant attention, maybe even some semblance of thought, they can't be expected to interact in a normal way with people about them. Is it any wonder that at a traffic light, they reach for the phone, then while in the process of dialing/talking or whatever, the light changes? There they sit, stupefied until some impatient driver in another car finally comes forth with a blaring horn which disturbs not only the ear-twitcher but all of us who happen to be sharing this moment with them.

Down the street they go, phone in ear, hand on phone, coffee cup balanced between their knees, the clipboard sliding off the seat, dashboard cluttered with urgent messages; they are oblivious to the world around them. No wonder they switch lanes, follow too close, honk the horn, run red-lights and exhibit typical signs of "road-rage." These are important people. Too busy to have planned their day and too harried to stop and think about what they are doing. But a word of caution. Stay out of their way, because they will never know that you are there.

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The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has decided to make sense of the gibberish that bottled water manufacturers are guilty of. The "official" pronouncement is that bottled water may not be good for you! It contains chemicals (besides the H2O) that could cause cancer or worse. Perhaps this will diminish dependence on the bottle. Don't believe it!

Sad to say the FDA has ruled that there is no danger of "cancer" from using the cell phone. Perhaps all is not lost, maybe they or some other agency will find a way to regulate the phone implant as a medical device, then perhaps sanity will return to this world. Just MHO.

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