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Thursday, February 24, 2005 so i've gone back to doing xanga nowadays coz i've been getting lazy and don't feel like html-ing anymore.. i'll go back to this site once i have more time. school's been demanding lately... so yea... just go to my xanga for recent blogs.. that's it for now kids... hear me sQuak 9:08pm ____________________________
Thursday, February 3, 2005 like the heading says. it's just another one of those days. and once again, I'm feeling really depressed. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself... but then again, I can't help feeling sad when there's so much sh*t going on in my life. once again, I'm faced with the question of "why does this happen to me?" I know God wants me to know that I'll get through it. and I know that.. I do... but I'm just having a hard time accepting that I have to go through all this. I have yet to find out the reason and purpose for all this... I'm not supposed to question God.. and why I have to go through the things that are happening -- but honestly, it's definitely easier said than done. I'm a person who comes off as energetic, loud, fun [?] and HAPPY... but do people ever wonder what's behind all the smiles and laughs? I have my days when I just can't hide it anymore.. today's one of those... so no clinicals today. I told them I wasn't feeling well. technically, I didn't lie. I'm NOT feeling well -- emotionally that is. I need a day to just let it all out... there's only so much a person can take until finally, everything -- all the walls built up, all courage, and any kind of front just come tumbling down. I guess I just need a day to let myself cry it all out. and then when I'm all cried out -- then, I'll be fine... at least for a while until that bad feeling resurfaces... I miss you... hear me sQuak 6:22am ____________________________
Sunday, January 23, 2005 good news: I was able to go to clinical. bad news: I still have to turn in my blood test results because my clinical passport expires tomorrow. so yea, as I said, I was able to go to clinicals. I got up at like 6 in the morning. took the bus that left my house at 7:10 and I got to school by 8:20 and I was running around finding the right people to turn in my stuff to. so I got my CRC turned in. then I had to go to health services to get my clinical passport. and they let me have one until I turned in all my blood test results. then it was time for me to head off to shoppers world in hopes that chris and chriselle will be able to give me a ride. after a few phone calls, I was able to get through to chriselle and they came to pick me up. at first we were getting lost... but eventually found our way... orientation was good. we walked around the facility and got to see what each room was like. we saw some of our potential clients. and although at first it was kind of scary thinking what we're going to have to deal with in a few days, I got over it and, surprisingly looked forward to it. oh and I ran into one of my aunt's friends... apparently she's one of the RNs that work there. so that's cool. I know someone!!! then, we got paired up with PSWs and found out which unit we were assigned to. hmm.. looking forward to thursday... so then after that, we went to get food. then we went to my doctor to get a photocopy of my blood test results. I'm still waiting for a couple. dangit!! then after that we headed off to school. for what? well I was supposed to turn in my test results. and then, I forgot and when I finally remembered I was disappointed [again] to find out that the office closed at 2:30 and we got there at like 3.. so yea. we just sat there. sang a few songs. ATE!!! and then it was time to leave. we went to bramalea first then they boys [chris, neil and jt] dropped us girls [me, chriselle, anne] off at the estuart residence while they went to some magic cards tourney. oh gosh.. BOYS!!! haha. so yea. we had a girls night "IN" coz we were supposed to go to jack's backyard but then things came up and we ended up not going. its ok... still had a lot of alcohol. haha and i spent $0!!! but yea. I feel bad. I was supposed to go for shawna and I didn't. and she ended up having a crappy night so I feel even worse. well yea. the night turned out really fun. not at all how I expected it. I mean I knew I was gonna have fun. I just thought it was gonna be at jack's... but its all good... oh yea.. sorry for scaring you like that neil. but I thought you knew me better than to think I would... hehe. its ok. friends pa rin tayo oh yea... it was a fun night for chriselle too. right, chriselle? hehe by the way, thanks for not puking on me like I did on you. haha. so altogether. good times. wished I didn't have to go back and face reality after that fun night. coz yea.. REALITY bites!!! I hate having to miss people. but I do... I really miss people... certain people more than others... ugh. GAG ME!!! hear me sQuak 2:03pm ____________________________
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 dang. I haven't blogged for a while. missed me?! haha. anywho, my debit card from bank of america finally came in today. woohoo! too bad its my old picture. si mama kc!!! oh well. I'll just get my new one when I go back there in... hmm... well, it's better if i don't say. :D ay nako. school books are freaken expensive. oh well. at least I only need one now. that's if rizza lets us borrow hers... hope so! dang.. my developmental pyschology is $116 and something cents. haha. hay nako. that's why dapat... all work and no play for me. except this friday! oh yea, I gotta blog about this friday. so yea, after work I went home and I wasn't feeling well. dang PMS! and so I was actually NOT gonna go to jack's backyard even though erin invited me and shawna to go. shawna was so excited to go though. and she wouldn't take no for an answer so I decided to go for a bit. it's wasn't for very long. but ehh.. so yea. we get there and we spot erin right away. and just one hug from her was enough to let us know just how drunk she was. haha... it was hilarious. within the half an hour that we spent drinking she must have asked us the same questions at least 3 times each. hilarious! and then yea... people started going to the dance floor so we decided to join them. hah fun times! "drunk girls and horny guys!" definitely goodtimes! haha. and yea.. like usual. guys came up to us pretending like they weren't about to do anything and then, they just start dancing all up on us. ugh! yuck! oh and there was this guy that walked by me then just grabbed me on the waist, I pushed his hand off and he was all "dang, I was just passing by." haha. yea right! passing by. not groping me or anything right?! pshh! whatever!!! but yea.. it was a fun night. i didn't get drunk though. just buzzed.. not even that much. then I went home and did the usual online thing... was kind of hyper coz I was buzzed but nothing else interesting. ok... I gotta go pee so time to end this blog. HAPPY 5 MONTHS, DORK!!! love ya! GAG ME, I know! hahaha hear me sQuak 12:58am ____________________________
Friday, January 21, 2005 so once again. I found myself in between a rock and a hard place. the result? ...I went nuts. by the way, I apologize to the people that had to take my crap. I'm really sorry you guys had to see me like this. [for certain people, it wasn't anything new though] I'm currently blaming it on PMS but I can only blame it on that for so long... to make a long story short. basically, I f***ed up and didn't get done what I needed to have done for tomorrow. so as a result, it throws off my whole schedule for tomorrow. AND... I might not even get to go to clinical. sucks for me!! but I guess I deserve it for being the lagger and procrastinator that I am. a lot of people were actually concerned about me... what a surprise. anyway, I'm still nervous and anxious about what might happen tomorrow. but I have no choice but to take what's coming to me. it's out of my hands now. hmm... I guess it's once again time for my motto "just have faith." more than ever I need to build up a strong faith. I've definitely been lacking in that... oh how people can change within a couple years. so.. we shall see the results of all the crap I'm going to go through tomorrow. oh how I'm looking forward to it... alright. bed time. I've still got all those buses to catch. bah!!! hear me sQuak 1:33am ____________________________
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 dang. I haven't blogged for a while. missed me?! haha. anywho, my debit card from bank of america finally came in today. woohoo! too bad its my old picture. si mama kc!!! oh well. I'll just get my new one when I go back there in... hmm... well, it's better if i don't say. :D ay nako. school books are freaken expensive. oh well. at least I only need one now. that's if rizza lets us borrow hers... hope so! dang.. my developmental pyschology is $116 and something cents. haha. hay nako. that's why dapat... all work and no play for me. except this friday! oh yea, I gotta blog about this friday. so yea, after work I went home and I wasn't feeling well. dang PMS! and so I was actually NOT gonna go to jack's backyard even though erin invited me and shawna to go. shawna was so excited to go though. and she wouldn't take no for an answer so I decided to go for a bit. it's wasn't for very long. but ehh.. so yea. we get there and we spot erin right away. and just one hug from her was enough to let us know just how drunk she was. haha... it was hilarious. within the half an hour that we spent drinking she must have asked us the same questions at least 3 times each. hilarious! and then yea... people started going to the dance floor so we decided to join them. hah fun times! "drunk girls and horny guys!" definitely goodtimes! haha. and yea.. like usual. guys came up to us pretending like they weren't about to do anything and then, they just start dancing all up on us. ugh! yuck! oh and there was this guy that walked by me then just grabbed me on the waist, I pushed his hand off and he was all "dang, I was just passing by." haha. yea right! passing by. not groping me or anything right?! pshh! whatever!!! but yea.. it was a fun night. i didn't get drunk though. just buzzed.. not even that much. then I went home and did the usual online thing... was kind of hyper coz I was buzzed but nothing else interesting. ok... I gotta go pee so time to end this blog. HAPPY 5 MONTHS, DORK!!! love ya! GAG ME, I know! hahaha hear me sQuak 12:58am |
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