A 21st Century News Prediction
65 year old fourth grade student to retire. 
Teacher's pension fund to pay for retirement
San Anselmo, California, December 2055. (CSNS) A 65  year old fourth grade student will retire this June from the Brookside School in the Sleepy Hollow area of this Marin County city. The California Supreme Court has ordered the California Teacher's Pension Fund to support this career student during his retirement.
The problem arose from a California law, passed in 1999, prohibiting social promotions. The law requires every California student to pass a test in each curriculum area  before being promoted to a higher grade. The student, whose name has been withheld in compliance with school policy, could never pass the fourth grade spelling test. So, he has remained in the fourth grade for 55 years. The court order will finally allow this student to get out of the fourth grade at the same time many of his original classmates are retiring. The perpetual student is reported to have said, "If you can't get out of the fourth grade by academic success, retirement seems like a reasonable alternative."
Because his status of a fourth grader has prevented him from earning any significant income during his adult life, the student has no retirement benefits, including Social Security. Therefore, the high court ordered the Teacher's Pension Fund to grant the student retirement benefits as if he had taught for the past 40 years.
"The message we are trying to send teachers is teach them or support them," said one justice, speaking anonymously. 
Phonics blamed
The school principal, Mr. Adam Candy, stated that this student probably got off on the wrong foot because of the use of phonics when he first entered grammar school.
"Let's face it, teaching English spelling using phonics is like teaching someone to fly a large airplane by teaching them how to drive an automobile," Candy stated. "It took the educational establishment years to realize that English is not a phonetic language. But old habits die hard. It's really pathetic to see this old student take a spelling test and try to sound out words like lead, bear, hare, write, pause and gnotobiotic."
In a written statement the student said, "I hope that noone blaims tha teechers. Tha teechers wer grate. In fact, I allmost marreed 1. How ever, her parants discouaged it as I was twienty years older thann herr at tha tiem. Wen wee discovered that she wood be fired if she marreed  mee, wee desided to call ofe the weding and qit hanging arround with eche other."
The school is throwing a massive retirement party on the last day of school. All those, still living, who attended the fourth grade with this student will be invited.