Poll No. 16: Vick Will Have to Buy a Ticket to Canton
Mail it in, Michael. You'll never be in the Hall of Fame. At least that's what seven out of seven TFFL voters said when asked if Falcons QB Michael Vick would end up in the HOF.

Poll No. 15: Second Thoughts
T.A. McLendon is taking his oft-injured and fumble-prone butt to the NFL. Whether the Wolfpack will be better or worse without him remains to be seen, but you can count on one thing: T.A. will be drafted in the second round of the 2005 NFL Draft! So decided all six of the TFFL voters who cast their opinion in Poll No. 15.

Poll No. 14: Taking the Points
Even if the payouts were the same, seven out of eight TFFL voters would rather win the overall points title than the Tech Bowl.

Poll No. 13: Bootin' the 'Billys
In a down-to-the-wire NFFC chase for the final two playoff spots, TFFL voters fingered the Heelbillys as the team that would stay home. McPeters' boys got three of five votes, with Collard Greens and Wile E. Coyotes receiving one each.

Poll No. 12: An ACC Hoops Fantasy
He's the best, and he'd be the first to tell you. Reigning ACC Player of the Year Julius Hodge of N.C. State would be the top choice of seven voters if they were participating in an ACC basketball fantasy game. Wake Forest PG Chris Paul and Georgia Tech gunner B.J. Elder picked up a vote apiece, as did the "someone else" option. Who would that be? Our guess is 'Pack big man Jordan Collins!

Poll No. 11: Know When To Say When
Boys and girls, what have we learned from Poll No. 11? That two voters have a real problem. They're playing in 10 or more fantasy football leagues. These polls are about as unscientific as it gets, and this one proves it: 10 owners, 12 votes. Nevertheless, polling shows five voters to be true to TFFL and playing in just one league. Five others are playing in TFFL and another league.

Poll No. 10: They're Not Torry, But They're Not Bad
If you haven't noticed, the 'Pack is piling up a good number of players in the NFL! Torry obviously is the best of the bunch, but who's next-best? A poll of TFFLers reveals it's High Point native and Arizona safety Adrian Wilson, who received four votes for helping turn the Cardinals D into a somewhat respectable unit. Torry's little brother Terrance, a DB with the Lions, snagged two votes, while perennial disappointment and pothead Koren Robinson got the other vote.

Poll No. 9: Get Out of Jail Free Cards
TFFL voters shunned the "Which NFL cretin is most deserving of jail time?" poll for the most part -- possibly because Sebastian Janikowski was somehow left off the ballot. Maybe Jano and Ralph Nader can get together at a bar and commiserate. (Keep your eye on your drink at all times, Ralphy!) Nevertheless, Ray Lewis, who probably killed somebody, won the voting with three votes. Leonard Little, who did kill somebody, finished second with two votes. And Randy Moss, who never saw a traffic cop he didn't want to kill, picked up the final vote. Interestingly enough, none of those three are in prison. One guy who is going to prison, Jamal Lewis, got no votes. Neither did Michael Pittman, who tried to run over his wife and daughter with an SUV, or Onterrio Smith, who is just one of many potheads in the NFL.

Poll No. 8: Club the Walrus
Just when you think John Bunting's fat ass is going to get fired after getting pummeled by the 'Pack, guess who forgets to play football in Chapel Hill. Job saved (at least some good will come out of this!). Then three of his "baby blue boys" get together to do their best Ricky Williams impersonations. Back on the hot seat. Either way, TFFL voters say "The Walrus" is most likely to be fired first out of a pool of stellar NFL and college candidates. Bunting's four votes topped N.C. State's stale offensive coordinator Noel Mazzone, who received two. Mazzone would have had a better chance if the question would have been, "Which coach SHOULD be fired first?" The Dolphins' Dave "I'll Shave My '70s Porn-Style Mustache If We Actually Win a Game" Wannstedt and the 49ers' Dennis "Just Another NFL Reject from U. of Miami Coaching Ranks Not Named Jimmy Johnson" Erickson each picked up votes. The Browns' Butch Davis (despite looking like a complete dork in an official NFL sweater vest), the Saints' Jim Haslett (despite the big shnoze) and the Rams' Mike Martz (despite the gawd-awful running-in-place celebration dance following the win over Seattle) all got gooseggs in the voting.

Poll No. 7: This Jet's a Steal
Just when you thought Curtis Martin was going the way of Eddie George fantasy wise, he finds new legs. That's what has happened this year, as TFFLers voted Martin the steal of the draft. The Sequel's 8th Round pick (No. 77 overall) garnered four votes to three for Jellypop's Chris "What Can" Brown "Do For You?" (four picks earlier in Round 8 at No. 73 overall). Quentin Griffin (Round 7, No. 66 by Heelbillys), Thomas Jones (Round 7, No. 68 by the Jayhawks), Roy Williams (Round 8, No. 71 by Collard Greens) and the Falcons defense (Round 16, No. 159 by T-Bird) each picked up a vote in the polling, while the Killers' Isaac Bruce (Round 6, Pick 58), Wile E.'s DeShaun Foster (Round 11, Pick 101) and the Gamblers' Robert Ferguson (Round 14, Pick 132) were shut out.

Poll No. 6: No Regrets About No. 1
You would think someone would be unhappy with who they chose with their No. 1 pick. You would think wrong. Asked if they would, in hindsight, pick the same player again with their No. 1 pick if the same players were available, nine voters said "Yes." The nays logged a big fat goosegg.

Poll No. 5: Weekend Hype
In a big September weekend for sporting events, the Wolfpack fared well -- in a poll, anyway. N.C. State picked up five votes -- perhaps foreshadowing its five turnovers -- for its showdown with Ohio State to win honors as the most anticipated game of the weekend. Three voters have their priorities straight, naming their TFFL head-2-head matchup as No. 1 in their hearts. Some poor sap that was obviously hurting for entertainment was looking forward to the Heels-Jackets game more than any other. The Sox-Yanks series got goosed.

Poll No. 4: The Cutting Room Floor
Apparently not too many people were surprised by preseason cuts. Four votes netted one each for former Broncos tight end Byron Chamberlain (drafted by T-Bird), ex-Packers and Browns quarterback Tim Couch and former Chargers wideout Kevin "Yes, That Was Me Drafted Ahead of Randy Moss" Dyson. The other vote went to T-Bird, who unceremoniously axed the "2" off the end of his team name after eight seasons.

Poll No. 3: Dumb and Dumber
Can you really fault a man for just doing what he wants to do? According to TFFL voters, if you're throwing away millions of dollars just to walk the earth and smoke some Mary Janes, yes, you can! Ricky Williams was named the NFL offseason's biggest idiot by picking up four of nine votes in Poll No. 3. Not far behind Ricky's cloud of smoke is Chargers GM A.J. Smith with three votes. Smith did the smart thing by trading for Philip Rivers, but earned a spot here for low-balling the ACC's greatest player ever. Jeff Garcia lifestyle-bashing Terrell Owens (in the words of the Black-Eyed Peas, 'Just shutup, shutup!') and Ricky-esque Quincy Carter both picked up a vote.

Poll No. 2: Change Buys Some Excitement
Which rule change has TFFL owners excited the most? Four of seven voters agree, it's the new tight end scoring system. Pushing back the starting lineups deadline until noon Sunday proved popular with two voters, while including special teams turnovers (not return TDs) grabbed the fancy of one owner. Eliminating the two-defense requirement was the choice of no one.

Poll No. 1: The NFL's Best 1-2 Punch at WR
It came as no surprise that of the six votes cast for best starting NFL wide receiver tandem, five were in favor of former Wolfies. The Rams' battle-tested Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce led the way with three votes, while the Seahawks' emerging duo of Koren Robinson and Darrell Jackson scored two votes. The Colts' Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne picked up the only other vote.